


Vhenan AU

by Feynite, Little_Lotte



Series: Sharp and Shiny [11]
Category: Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Looking Glass, Other
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-11
Updated: 2020-09-16
Packaged: 2021-03-06 16:34:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 22,861
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26401993
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Feynite/pseuds/Feynite, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Little_Lotte/pseuds/Little_Lotte
Summary: Before Bite Me was Bite Me, we called it the "Uthvir Gets a Vhenan AU"- AKA the Vhenan AU. These are just some one-shot fics written for it, and the occasional RP snippets that didn't fit in with the rest of the storyline.
Relationships: Uthvir/OC
Series: Sharp and Shiny [11]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/524539
Kudos: 4





	1. Haninan and Love

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Bite Me](https://archiveofourown.org/works/6452587) by [Feynite](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Feynite/pseuds/Feynite), [Little_Lotte](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Little_Lotte/pseuds/Little_Lotte). 



> Oaky, these two are really more conversations than fic, and the timeline is a little wonky because it was before we figured out when their friendship would have landed in terms of canon LG events, but they make me laugh, and it's technically two of the earliest RPs we have, so in it goes! (Tumblr folks may also recognize the Origins of my ship tag hiding out in here X3)

L: (Oh geeze, if there is one thing that would be better than Lavellan trying to sort out the awkwards, it is Haninan dealing with them.)

F: (Haninan just quietly trying to divert Ghilashim's crush because it's probably not going to work out for the poor kid. Picking up Aili and moving her 9000 miles away from Uthvir.)

L: (Poor shark bby, no one wants you to have nice things)

F: (Poor Uthvir. Life is so hard when you are pointy and spectacular.)

F: (No, but Haninan would just underestimate Aili, really, and be like 'this one is too high a level for you')

Aili: D:> But I was learning how to stab things!

Haninan: A lot of people can teach you how to stab things. Go ask Lavellan, or Pride.

Aili: *weirdly disappointed. kicks a rock* ...okay. ...not even sometimes?

Haninan: *wavers* They are very dangerous. Someone like you is too gentle to be around them.

Uthvir: *looks sad and spiky and lonely in the background*

Aili: *brave face.* I'm not scared of them! *holds up scrawny noodle arms*

Haninan: *Deep sigh* Yes, but you should be. You should be terrified of them. It's slightly concerning that you aren't, in fact. Did they do something to you?

Aili: *starts listing all of the pranks and the spiders and the clothes stealing*

Haninan: *Looking increasingly concerned* ...How are you still alive, exactly?

Aili: I'm tough! *holds up noodle arms again*

Haninan: No, really. How?

Aili: ಥ_ಥ I AM tough! Uthvir, tell Haninan how tough I am!

Uthvir: She is very tough. She's going to take over the world someday. I have gotten into her good graces early so that I might avoid incurring her wrath when such a time comes.

Haninan: O__o;

Aili: See!

Haninan: They're probably going to eat you or something.

Uthvir: *smirks*

Aili: ◕‿◕✿??? Why would they want to eat me?

Haninan: Because you are adorable and lovely and a thing like that could never abide someone like you.

Uthvir: Because you taste delicious.

Aili: *opens mouth* ...ಠ_ಠ...??? *glances at Uthvir. Turns red. Closes mouth*

Haninan: ...Okay you absolutely need to stay away from them.

Uthvir: Or, she can do as she pleases.

Aili: *glances back and forth between them at a bit of a loss because she is naturally inclined to listen to dad-figures, but she also has a sense of loyalty to her weird pointy friend*

Haninan: Uthvir is not your friend. They are... not anyone's friend, probably. They are a very dangerous thing.

Uthvir: Well. I /am/ dangerous, I agree.

Uthvir: But you're a weird old hobo.

Aili: Can't we all just...get along? Maybe?

Uthvir: Of course! A little wine, some song, we could have a friendship party. Get to know one another better.

Haninan: ...That is the creepiest damn thing.

Aili: Oh! A friendship party!

Haninan: No, that is not what they meant.

Uthvir: *sigh* Haninan, I just don't know what you want. Here we are, trying, and you're just being so stubborn and unfriendly.

Aili: Haninan, why don't you want to go to the friendship party? Uthvir has very good booze.

Uthvir: *nods earnestly* I do! And I share, do I not?

Haninan: *facepalm*

Aili: They do share!

Haninan: They are not offering a 'friendship party', Aili, they want to get us drunk and take advantage of us. Probably kill me and do the gods only know what to you. I'm only grateful I found you before they could corrupt you somehow.

Uthvir: Yes. Such a hero.

Aili: D:> You weren't really going to kill Haninan, were you?

Uthvir: No. He belongs to Mythal and everyone knows June is weird about him. I absolutely do not need to enrage two evanuris over one dingy old man.

Haninan: They would absolutely kill me. And then probably do terrible, unspeakable things to you.

Uthvir: *makes lewd gesture and winks*

Aili: *glancing between them again, unsure who to believe. Puts on 'Serious business' face.* Uthvir, if you kill Haninan at the friendship party, I will absolutely one hundred percent never forgive you. ...actually, just please refrain from killing him at all.

Uthvir: Fine.

Haninan: ...I do not understand any of this.

Aili: Problem solved! :D Let's go drink!

Haninan: *glances between Aili and Uthvir like he can't figure something out and it's weird*

Uthvir: Hooray for drinking!

Haninan: *will be the responsible, sober, supervising adult*

Aili: *2 bottles of booze drunk, sidles up to Haninan when Uthvir is getting more to drink and wraps her arms around him for hugs* Hannnninan. HAninan. Haniiiiiiinan! *giggles* I'm so glad you decided to come to the friendship party so we could all be friends! *her grip on him tightens and a shadow passes over her face, a dangerous glint flashing in her eyes* But if you keep referring to Uthvir as a 'thing', I am going to find a way to ensure you end up with a lot of boils in some very uncomfortable areas. *She blinks. Grins again, tipsy. Stands up on her tiptoes to kiss his cheek, and stumbles away to find more to drink*

Haninan: *taken aback* ...Well, that... actually explains some things.

L: (XD And then it would be nice and awkward because you know Aili would be the first one down for the count, so you'd just have probably not very drunk Uthvir and sober Haninan glaring at each other over wherever she finally passed out.)

F: (Oh gods. Yes. With Uthvir just making it worse by constantly pretending they are going to do nefarious things to Aili while she's unconscious, and then Haninan sloooowly cottoning on to the fact that this is bullshit and Uthvir's actually just letting her snuggle their leg or something.)

L: (And Haninan being all, 'Well, I guess I should take her with me then, since you have confessed that you are going to do terrible things to her if I leave her here with you.' And then Uthvir would be all, *hissing* ' NO. No, you should leave her with me, so...I can...do things. The not nice bad things.')

F: (Exactly! Because like hell Uthvir's gonna let Haninan take off with Aili. Yes, sure, he PROBABLY won't do anything untoward, but then again that's June's father and June is shitty. So you never know. Uthvir's just like 'no I'm not letting you take my victim! I need to do horrible things to her! *pats Aili's hair*)

L: (And Haninan would just smirk and be all, 'Well, if I am not trustworthy for some reason, I suppose I could send a message to have someone else come here and get her. Someone safe and dependable...like Pride? Surely he would come to her assistance. He'd probably carry her all the way back to her house. In his arms. Like a prince. So respectable, that Pride. So handsome, and good natured...and tall. Perhaps he would even feel the need to take care of her until she woke up. I imagine she would be...most grateful.')

Uthvir: *seething* No. My victim! Clearly. You go do... other things, now. I am done with you. I'm totally going to ravish her while she's vulnerable! In fact, I think I'll spirit her away right now, and definitely not just tuck her into bed and wait until she wakes up and maybe pet her hair just a tiny bit because I am a dangerous 100% vicious predator!

~~~

Aili: *pats Uthvir’s head and coos at them*

Uthvir: *de-spikes a bit but tries to be casual about it*

Aili: *scooches a little closer, stroking their hair idly and humming a bit*

Uthvir: ...*maybe removes a few more spikes, here and there. Just a few!*

Aili: *guides them into laying down with their head in her lap so she can run her fingers through their hair and maybe scritch their scalp a little while she sings quietly*

Uthvir: ...*definitely does not start up a rumbling purr. That is coughing. Long, low coughing. Or maybe a growl. Yes. A menacing, menacing growl, that is fierce enough that they can probably do away with more of those spiky bits.*

Aili: *rubs their neck and shoulders a little, pausing singing just long enough to lean down and kiss their forehead*

Uthvir: *zzzZZZzzzZZZzzz*

Aili: *smiles smugly and definitely not content and slightly squishy at all.*

L: (NO ONE IS IN LOVE. NOTHING TO SEE HERE.)

F: (NOPE DEFINITELY NOT NUH-UH, MOVE ALONG PEOPLE, JUST TWO ELVES BEING ALL ELF-Y AND TOTALLY NOT IN LOVE! *frantically shoos away Love*)

Love: *sighs* Ooooh! It's so small, so pretty. The little star-in-the-dark. <3 <3 <3

Uthvir: *hisses, snuggles close to Aili, makes 'go away and/or shut up' gesture*

Aili: ??? *shrugs and accepts snuggles*

Love: *makes total nuisance of self, wrapping around the two of them and cooing even when Uthvir tries to bite it*

Aili: !!! Oh! Do you want snuggles, too? Are you lonely?

Love: The song is sad, but you like it. It's still beautiful. It should still be sung. Always. Until it stops hurting. Until it becomes something familiar. Something kind. Something precious. <3 <3 <3

Uthvir: Go away before I kill you, you silly, useless thing. *grumbles like a grumpy grump, but is somehow less than utterly intimidating with their head still in Aili's lap.*

Aili: *continues to stroke Uthivr's hair absentmindedly* Do you think it's...sad maybe? Does it need help?

Love: Ohhhh, it is so beautiful! Tentative and new, tiny shoots threading all through, getting stronger and growing. Like vines in the dark.

Uthvir: It is deranged, is what it is.

Aili: Do spirits get sick? *she looks at Love* Do you feel alright? I'm not sure what we can do for you... Maybe you should ask for help from someone in the Dreaming?

Love: I am not sick! I am a Spirit of Lo-

Uthvir: *punches Love in the mouth*

Aili: ◉_◉ ?! What was that about???

Uthvir: *grumbles, goes back to snuggling Aili, makes some vague comment about annoying spirits*

Love: *squishes face back together* I am a Spirit of Love!

Aili: ...are you lost?

Love: *evading another swipe from Uthvir* No! I was drawn to all the love budding between you two!

Aili: *glances down at Uthvir* ...I think it is confused.

Uthvi: Obviously. Yes. It is confused and should be put out of its misery.

Love: I am not confused! It is so nice! *sighs*

Aili: *frowning* Don't hurt it! It probably got lost and something bad happened to it and now it's just a bit muddled. Softer spirits can be a little fragile, I think. Once it gets someplace familiar, it will probably sort itself out.

Uthvir: Fine. *Makes dismissive gesture towards Love.* Shoo. Go home. Get.

Love: I am not lost! I live at the tavern. Ess loves the tavern a lot! I came over here because I could sense you, though. All the warm new shoots. The sharp one likes your shine!

Aili: *pats Love on the head pityingly* It will be okay, but you should probably go home until you feel better.

Love: *Purrs and cuddles and makes delighted cooing noises* I feel really nice! It is all warm and snuggly underneath the sharp pointy bits!

Aili: *somehow roped into petting Uthvir with one hand and Love with the other* See, this is why you're confused. ...you don't have any pointy bits. You're really just sort of...smooshy.

Love: *giggles and brushes Uthvir, retracting the tendril just before they can lose it* The sharp bits are on this one! All sharp pointy bitey, but soft, too!

Uthvir: *hisses* Lies!

Aili: *nods* That doesn't sound likely.

Love: *pouts, squooshes Aili's face* You are as bad as each other!

Aili: *talking weird with her face still smooshed* ...sorry?

Love: *makes cooing noises, switches to just slumping all over Aili's shoulders*

Uthvr: *curls lip in disgust*

Aili: *sighs and accepts her lot in life with Love draped all over her and Uthvir in her lap and just goes back to giving Uthvir scrithes and pets and singing and sort of trying to ignore the spirit*

Love: *starts singing along with Aili and purring and basically just being a giant rumbly pink blanket*

Uthvir: *grumbles*


	2. Leaving Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aili has a tough time adapting to life at Andruil's Palace

In the end, leaving the city is both easier and much more difficult than she would have thought.

She arrives at Andruil’s Arlathan estate a few hours after sunrise with nearly everything she can claim as her own crammed into a fraying travel pack, which is not much at all, truth be told. She has a few changes of clothes and simple cloak in case the weather turns foul, and little else. A few odd trinkets from friends and family, worth more in sentiment than anything. A well-worn dagger on one hip. A barely tested short sword strapped to the other. A sliver of star shine hastily sewn into the lining of her jerkin. 

The courtyard is already fairly bustling, despite the early hour, servants and hunters milling about to tend to their various duties, hauling things from one place to another, securing valuables and other supplies to several large carts. She finds herself buzzing with a nervous kind of excitement as she watches them, eager to take this step onto a new path, and yet uncertain as to how she fits into the scheme of things around here. A few of the hunters look familiar in passing, but she’s not sure who she is supposed to report to in order to be assigned duties of her own.

Technically, Andruil is the only one here with direct authority over her, and even she could not simply kill her out of hand without raising the ire of her wife. And yet, Aili is all but positive that almost everyone assembling for this journey back to the Evanuris’ territories outranks her by several rungs on the social ladder. As a follower of Ghilan’nain, she does not _have_ to obey them, but it would also be most unwise not to. Hunters are not especially known for their lenient and temperate ways, after all.

She gets the feeling that this whole situation is going to be something of a balancing act.

Aili looks around for her friend, and catches sight of a familiar flash of red standing in a cluster of elves near the palaces gates. She smiles, moving to join them. Uthvir is the one who got her this position, after all, so they should have some idea of what she’s meant to be doing with herself until they actually reach Andruil’s holdings and the halla she is meant to be caring for. But then a few of the other attendants near them move and she sees that they are standing directly beside the Evanuris herself, and Aili finds her steps stuttering to an almost immediate halt. 

Naturally, she has seen Andruil before, from very great very _safe_ distances during festivals and ceremonies in Arlathan, and slightly closer on a few occasions whilst attending to her duties in her lady’s city estate. Not like this.

Andruil is dressed in swaths of crisp biting green, overlaid with dark supple leathers and accents in gold, the riding cloak across her shoulders is lined with thick dark fur, possibly from a bear, though it is impossible to tell for certain. Her eyes are cruel and golden, and they seem to clutch at everything in their path like talons, digging in until you bleed. Aili thinks she reminds her very much of a large venomous serpent. Or perhaps a dragon would be a more apt description. There is a weight to her very presence that is all but paralyzing.

Someone yells at her to get out of the way, and she recalls that she has stopped stock still in the middle of what is currently a very active courtyard.

She ducks her head and apologizes, but at least the commotion seems to make Uthvir aware of her presence. They do not leave their lady’s side, but instead calls over a pale scrawny hunter with antlers who they send over to her a few moments later with a message. She gets the feeling that she’s seen this hunter before, but she cannot recall his name. Sa-something? Regardless, he does not seem to recognize her, and gives her Uthivr’s directions on where she will be in the procession when they finally get underway in a tone that seems both bored and strangely morose.

The hunter leaves her without so much as a farewell, and she finds herself a little anxious with no clear instruction as to what she should do with herself in the interim. She settles for mainly trying to keep out of people’s way while occasionally casting furtive glances at Uthvir and Andruil. Wishing rather foolishly that she could move a little closer to the one without the risk of attracting the attention of the other.

This journey is one that marks a rather dramatic change in her life, and it is…a bit daunting, if she is being completely honest with herself. It would be nice to feel as though she had someone to rely on, to bolster her nerves if nothing else. A friend.

She discreetly moves her hand over the place her little treasure is hidden, closing her eyes briefly and pressing it more firmly into her chest so she can feel the faint brush of its magic through the thin layers of cloth. Comforting. _Courage_.

The procession does not get moving until well past midday, and Aili finds herself positioned at what is nearly the tail end of it, walking along by herself with only the rear guard behind her. No one speaks to her unless she happens to be in their way somehow, and really, she does not know why she expected it to be otherwise. Her worn clothes and poor equipment are more than telling of her rank, and she is more than used to being overlooked in some way or another.

She catches a distant flash of red at the front of the party.

It is Uthvir’s fault for warping her perceptions, she supposes. They had looked at her. They had seen her standing in a crowd of several hundred other elves, most of whom society had deemed more worthy than herself, and for some reason that she still does not quite understand, they had decided that she was worth taking note of. Ostensibly for sex, but then also for several reasons that are inarguably _not_ sex.

They are teaching her to fight properly, and she can tell that it is not merely a means to humor her interest and garner her favor to make her more pliant to their wishes. They are quick to point out her mistakes, but patient with her weaknesses, and there is even some genuine pride in their expression whenever she finally overcomes a particular move or stance she had been struggling with. They clearly want her to improve, to succeed, to fulfill whatever potential for it she can muster.

They talk to her, and actively seek her company, and, while there is still a general air of arrogance to them, they do not belittle her. They tease and flirt and even laugh with her. As though they are equals. As though she has done something to earn an even playing field with them. 

She wishes she had some idea what it was.

Never the less, none of Andruil’s other followers seem particularly interested in her, which is not necessarily a bad thing, but it does make the trek a bit boring. And somewhat lonely, despite the crowd. Still, she knows better than to try to force a conversation with people who outrank her, so she spends her time taking in the sights, trying to look at everything all at once, and keeping company with her own thoughts.

_“You are not a hunter,” her father had said before she left, ruffling her hair and smiling at her in that soft wide way of his, so that the only sign of his worry was the slight tremble of it in the air around them. “Do not try to be one. You are there to take care of the halla, so that is what you must be. Caring. Tender. Keeping. Treat this venture like any other beast that requires taming, with a calm voice and a steady hand. Be patient. Be cautious. And to not take your eyes from its fangs. It is your skill at kindness that won you this position, Da’vhenan, and it is your kindness that will let you keep it.”_

She is not sure she can agree with all of his advice, but she thinks she can see the point he was trying to make. Play to the strengths she already has. Know yourself, know your duties, and do your best at one without relinquishing the other.

Her mother’s advice had been a little more succinct.

_“Go for the eyes,” she had suggested, showing her how to tuck a tiny blade into her vambrace in case of an emergency. “It will not kill them, which is good, since you will not be allowed to kill them without serious repercussions, but they will think twice about coming after you once they’ve had to deal with being blind for a day or so.”_

She has never been away from her parents for more than a few days, and now she does not even know when she will earn enough leave from her duties to visit them. It is…harder than she would have guessed. She has always wanted more of the world, but she never wanted less of them.

She presses the shard to her chest again and sighs. Everyone leaves home eventually. She can send as many letters as she pleases, and it is not as though she has no one to turn to if something goes wrong.

Another hard gleam of red from far in front of her, sunlight glancing off sharp armor as the party exits the crossroads and files out into an immense forest. She thinks she sees them turn their head back in her direction, and she smiles unwittingly. Not alone at all.  
~  
She spends a week learning her new duties before the previous tender leaves the palace to attend his own wedding and move back to Ghilan’nain’s territory, and Aili sees almost nothing of Uthvir during that time, or the two weeks which follow. The longest conversation they have is when they come into the stables for a mount to ride during a hunt and hand her some hurried advice for avoiding the Evanruis and any other attention she may not desire in a very clipped agitated manner, before a few other ranking hunters arrive and they promptly begin to pretend she does not exist. Beyond that, she sees them prowling around the palace grounds tending to their duties and up near the high table during meals, which is about as far from her own seat as they can get, and little else.

They do not speak together except in passing. They do not visit her rooms or call her to their own. They do not ask her to come train with them in the practice field.

It is…lonelier than she’d care to admit.

Luckily, there are halla. Her breath catches at the first sight of them in their pen, graceful and gleaming as she remembers, white as passing summer clouds with dark intelligent eyes and long twisting horns, lovingly carved and cared for. She has not seen any this closely in over a hundred years. Her hands shake when she reaches out to pet one for the first time and gasps in quiet delight when it presses its head more firmly into her hand, demanding more of her affection. She does her best not to cry.

Aili finds that they are all rather highly bribable, though she is unsure if that is a trait of all halla, or just a byproduct of living amongst hunters who are all constantly trying to claw their way on top of one another by any means necessary. She learns their names and their mannerisms and their favorite treats in less than two days, and the tender she is replacing gives her an odd look when he comes out to the pen one morning and discovers that she’d actually gone to sleep curled up in the middle of Andruil’s little herd as though she is a fawn they’d decided to adopt.

Well, it was not as though she has anyone else to spend time with at the moment. And it was a warm enough night. Besides, she’s supposed to be getting them to trust her, isn’t she?

Andruil’s halla are also all a bit more…aggressive than most. Which comes as no great surprise.

The halla that the Evanuris favors is by far the most high-strung and unruly of the herd, and if she does not get called on to participate in a hunt for a few days, she has a tendency to pick fights with her fellows. She will bite at sensitive ears and lock horns and kick and snort out threats until Aili comes over to pull her away from the others. It is very distressing until the obvious solution to the problem presents itself.

The halla wants to run. Needs to, really. To get rid of her pent up energies. And it is Aili’s duty as their keeper to see to the halla’s needs. And…well, she cannot simply set her loose in the forest and hope for the best.

When she swings herself up into the saddle for the first time, she stalls for a moment. Waiting for someone More Important to come stop her. To punish her and remind her that something like this is not for her. That riding a halla is only for those favored few that she can only wistfully aspire to become. She trembles slightly in both excitement and fear.

And then the halla moves.

They tear out of the palace grounds at a flat out gallop into the nearby woods, and for a few moments Aili can do little but cling to the beast’s back for dear life.

The trees whizz by in blurs of blues and greens. The wind whistles past her ears, sharp and crisp and sweet. The halla huffs in exaltation at the pleasure of running freely down familiar paths. Their muscles move together, halla and rider, flexing and guiding and reaching out for more. More speed. More space. More freedom.

It feels like flying. It feels like she was made for this. For the wilderness and the open sky. For the smell of trees and the rapid thudding of cloven hoof beats.

The days of isolation and distant friends are all but forgotten. It was worth it for this. Even if she is punished later, this will still be hers, and they cannot take it from her. She finds herself laughing, loud and breathless and triumphant.

They stop in a clearing still fairly close to the palace, since going too far into the depths of the forest is an open invitation to be mauled by whatever monsters may be roaming nearby. She ties the halla to a tree and lets them graze while she lays out in the grass, staring up into the perfect blue bowl of the sky. Some large bird of prey circles lazily in the distance.

She’s nearly asleep out in the sunshine when she senses a slight shift in the air. Hairs rising along the back of her neck. The sensation of ‘presence’ even though there is no one to be seen. Unnerving, and yet somehow familiar.

“Uthvir?” She guesses hopefully, scanning the trees for some sign of her friend. The halla seems unperturbed at least, which she takes as a good sign. She’s half way back onto her feet to perform a more thorough investigation when a pair of strong lean arms snake around her from behind, catching her up and whirling her around.

She makes a rather loud squawk of alarm, flailing helplessly for a moment before her mother’s words come back to her, ‘Go for the eyes.’

With a flick of her wrist, the tiny knife is in her hand and she wrenches around to face her assailant, snarling and vengeful. Pointed gauntlets dig into her shirt as she twists, tearing at cloth and leather. Red armor catching sunlight.

Uthvir grins at her fury in unabashed delight, catching her hand easily and sweeping her feet out from under her in a single move, sending them both to the ground.

“Little fox,” they greet, sounding insufferably pleased with themselves. “What a pleasant surprise. I had thought some wild spirit had managed to make off with one of my lady’s precious halla, but I see that it was only our new tender trying to garner a little attention for herself.”

“You knew it was me the whole time,” she argues, squirming in their grasp a bit, which seems to do nothing to deter them from continuing to press her down into the grass. “And the halla needed to get rid of some energy, she was beginning to get restless. I was doing my job.”

“Of course you were,” Uthvir hums in careless agreement, brushing a few errant curls out of her face as they loom above her, still grasping the hand that had wielded the knife and pinning it above her head. “And what of you? Do you find yourself with any…pent up energies?” They nip her ear. “If you are feeling restless, I could possibly be persuaded to assist you. In some way or another.” They turn their attention to the curve of her neck, plying her with lazy kisses and moving a hand to trail suggestively over her thigh.

She gasps quietly at the sensation of their mouth on her skin, and she is all but certain that she feels them smirk against her throat at the sound.

“I… It seems like you might be the one with too much energy,” she points out wryly, her cheeks darkening in embarrassment. Never the less, she moves her one free arm up to loop around their shoulders and sighs. “I admit; I was beginning to think you had lost interest in associating with me.” She is surprised at the tremor of hurt in her voice, turning her eyes back up towards the cloudless sky.

They pause at her assertion, pulling back a bit to look at her.

“This is not Arlathan, little fox,” they remind her evenly. “It is far easier to keep track of who someone may be spending time with out here. You are new, which makes you at least passingly interesting to some, and plying you with an excess of favor and attention would have only increased that interest. Dangerously so, in some cases.”

“Oh,” she manages to reply, feeling somewhat foolish. “Then…it’s always going to be like this? We can only be friends when no one else is around?”

“For a while, at least,” Uthvir agrees, “though if you wish to hurry the process along, I would suggest not dashing across half the courtyard on Andruil’s favorite halla.”

She blanches in dismay.

“Is she… Am I going to get in trouble?” she asks worriedly. “I really was doing my job. She attacks the other ones when she doesn’t get enough exercise.”

“I will take care of it,” Uthvir assures her with a sigh. “Just… aim to be a little more discreet, if you should need to do it again. Or ask me to accompany you.”

She nods once in understanding, staring up into their face. She missed them, as much as she might wish to deny it. They are prickly and aggravating by turns, but generous too, in their way. And they _see_ her. And she missed that, too.

She leans her head up slowly and kisses them. Soft and chaste. Grateful and giving and sweet. They blink down at her in surprise, tensing ever so slightly at the unexpected contact.

“What was that for?” Uthvir wonders.

“I- I’m sorry!” Aili sputters apologetically, “I should have asked first instead of just… I thought you might not mind since you are… Since you seemed to want to…um. I mean, earlier you said… I won’t do it ag-”

They silence her with a sound kiss of their own, crushing the air from her lungs as they pull her arm from around their shoulders to join its trapped counterpart above her head.

“Uthvir,” she protests weakly when they finally give her a chance to breathe, “Uthvir, we’re _outside_. There isn’t a shelter or anything, what if somebody comes?”

“I set wards,” they tell her, sounding somewhat distracted as they set their claws into the fabric of her shirt. “Besides, I was under the impression that you were fond of the wilderness.”

Well…she supposes that is true enough.  
~  
Afterwards, she sighs dejectedly at the state of her shirt, trying to find some way to tie the remaining bits of it together long enough to make it back to her rooms to change. At least her trousers have escaped more or less unscathed; she really is going to have to find some way of dissuading them from destroying all of her clothing before she has to run around naked. Again.

But for now Uthvir seems sated and satisfied, walking the halla back towards the palace at her side, and the air of contentment between them is pleasant enough that she does not feel like ruining it with petty grievances.

She glances over at them and smiles despite herself, and for some reason it reminds her of something else her mother had said before she left.

_“…It is a strange new destiny you have chosen for yourself, Da’len.”_

_“But… I’ve always wanted to work with halla,” she blinked in confusion._

_Her mother stared at her for a long moment, piercing eyes gazing through her intentions as they always seem to. Not cruel, but simply…assessing. Her mother sees many things other people do not, fitting unspoken secrets together like pieces of a puzzle._

_Whatever she seemed to see in her made her sigh in resignation. “…Of course. What else could you possibly be going there for?”_

Uthvir catches her eye and smirks, and the halla nudges at her, apparently deciding that it wants affection, since Aili seems to be doling it out rather freely at the moment. And it _is_ strange, she thinks. Both this place and the person who has brought her to it. Still, she finds she does not mind it.

She glances at Uthvir again. Yes.

She thinks she’s going to like it here.


	3. Left Behind

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> How did sleeping with that spirit shard work out for u babe? >_>;

It’s lonely, being left behind.

The hunters go out, sometimes seeking prey, sometimes in attendance to their lady, and sometimes simply to train, as is their duty, and she must fulfill hers as well, and wait for their return.

There are other tasks to complete, of course. Tending to whichever of the halla were not called for, cleaning stalls and mending equipment, more than enough to fill a day. Still, she finds she is not much suited for waiting, wanting to roam and seek and learn for herself, eager to cut her teeth on whatever adventures life might hand her, which is…not much of an option for someone of her station. Not that she dislikes her job, but she does find herself somewhat envious as she watches a procession or a hunting party take their leave of the palace grounds.

It is much quieter when they are gone. Most of Andruil’s people are pleasant enough to her in passing, but as she serves Ghilan’nain, she has little to offer in terms of gaining rank or favor with their lady, which means that very few of them bother with actively soliciting her company. It’s safer that way, to be sure, but the relative isolation can be…difficult.

She’s used to the clamor of the city, the bustle of the main streets and the shadows of the cramped alleyways twisting throughout. The rough tiles of rooftops beneath her bare feet. The vendors who know her by name, people whom she has laughed and joked wheedled bargains out of for decades. A tiny window looking out on the city lights, counting them like stars as she lies in her bed, her parents sleeping the room next to hers.

This place is wide and wild and savage in its beauty. She is glad she came, truly. She loves the trees and the halla and the open sky. But she doesn’t know if she has ever felt quite so alone. 

She has one friend though.

They are a very strange friend, to be sure; all smirks and jagged edges and sharpness striking out at almost anyone in passing. Quick and cunning and dangerous as a blade. Frequently callous and ruthless and always holding something back, saving one last trick in case the wind changes and their chosen prey finds some way of momentarily eluding them.

Miraculously, she finds it is not in her to hate them despite all this, or even dislike them beyond occasional aggravation. They are unapologetically arrogant, but they never talk down to her, never belittle her or treat her as though she is somehow less than they are simply because they hold a higher rank. They are not needlessly cruel to suit their own pleasures, as many of Andruil’s more favored hunters tend to be. They take nothing she does not offer, even when they could. And, more often than not, when they reach out for her, it is with a staggering, unexpected softness.

Her first instinct is, as always, to reciprocate in kind. Which seems to take both of them by surprise.

There is not much call for gentleness in a place such as this, but the halla need it and so does she…and apparently so does the hunter, despite the way the cut at this world like a knife dancing in the wind.

They make it easy to be honest. She makes it easy to be kind. And they both end up laughing more often than either of them expect. Most things are like that between them. Simple. Easy. Effortless. It is the strangest thing.

She does not like to watch them leave her.

She smiles at them regardless, wishing them luck as she hands them the reins of a halla, occasionally warning them not to try something flashy and get themselves skewered. Or, if there are a lot of other people around, sometimes she simply reaches out and taps a finger on the strips of woven leather at their wrist, the barrier magic she threaded into it still humming there faintly, her implications clear: stay safe. Other times she is not even granted that much, and has to settle for waving at them from the stables as they set out on foot, disappearing in a flash of red between the trees.

It’s lonely.

She’s not the type to hold on to sadness though, if she can help it. She keeps herself busy. She works, she sings, she trains with her sword, and explores the safer paths through the woods near the palace when she finds the time. She climbs onto the roof of the stables in the guise of a fox, to observe other hunters and attendants tend to their chores. She perches high in the treetops to watch the passing clouds.

Nighttime offers fewer distractions, however, and every now and then, when the hunter has been gone for weeks or even months at a time, and she can’t seem to shake some stray bit of worry or desolation, she digs around under a loose floorboard in her room until she unearths the most valuable thing she owns.

It’s small and sharp, like the friend who gave it to her. Unexpected, and oddly dear to her, which is not unlike them, too. It shines in her palm, like the cutting edge of a swift blade, like sunlight glancing off armor, like a flash of a grin from a mouth full of pointed teeth. She runs a finger over it tenderly, tracing its shape in little careful strokes. She whispers her secrets to it, or tells it about the day she’s had, or simply gazes at it in silence until her eyes grow heavy, glad for some small comfort to hold onto.

“Come home soon,” she mumbles, the final request she always pushes out before sleep claims her. The sentiment is silly, and perhaps a bit babyish, all things considered, but there is no one here to judge her. The little precious thing only glimmers and looks pretty and reminds her she is not alone, and offers no reproof or condemnation. She misses her friend, it is a normal enough thing to do, all things considered.

She never seems to notice how, on days she is well and truly exhausted and her thoughts are thick and muddled, and the shard is little more than a tiny gleam of star shine in her hand to her bleary eyes, that another word tends to add itself to her last appeal as she slips into the Dreaming.

“…Vhenan.”


	4. Be Still

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dealing with the aftermath of Uthvir having to spend a night with Andruil. :(

She should have seen it coming.

As soon as the whispers started, and the curious eyes began following her, she should have been suspicious, but when one or two of the higher ranking hunters made attempts to bait her with snipes about the source of the horrific scars across her lover’s back, she should have known exactly what was going to happen.

“Uthvir.”

Her seat in the Hunter’s Hall is one of the absolute farthest from the high table and the illustrious lady who rules this territory. As she is not a hunter herself, she is the last to be served, last to be noticed, last to be bothered with. Andruil’s people are generally rowdy, boasting and jeering and calling out to each other down the length of the room and yet somehow, despite the clamor surrounding her, she still hears the evanuris call their name.

Her heart stops in her chest.

She stomps down on the urge to whip her head around to look at them, but she cannot stop her eyes from sliding up to the higher tables to try and catch her friend’s reaction. Their shoulders stiffen for half an instant, so quick she is not sure she would have noticed if she had not been looking for it. But the emotion is there to see, for anyone who knows them well enough: fear.

It drops like a ball of lead into the pit of her stomach.

A moment later, Uthvir’s customary smirk is back on their face as they rise from their chair to answer their lady’s call, even managing a hint of a swagger to their gait. Something twists in her gut. She feels sick.

_‘Don’t hurt them.’_

She has never seen the scars, never touched the naked jagged skin of them, but she knows the wounds inflicted upon them were severe enough to destroy the nerves there. She knows they cover almost the entirety of their back. And she knows that Uthvir’s aversion to having them touched is so strong, that even the slightest accidental brush of her hand in the wrong place when they are divested of their armor is enough to grind whatever activities they may be engaging in to a screeching halt. At least for a few minutes. 

And she knows Andruil is the one who did this to them.

It is enough to be terrified about what might happen tonight. It is enough to be _enraged._

She tears her gaze away, attacking the remainder of her meal with renewed vigor. She cannot object. She cannot even appear to be as outraged as she feels without running the risk of the evanuris perceiving it as some sort of challenge, which…would likely go very badly for both her and Uthvir. She settles for viciously stabbing at a hunk of roasted meat on her plate and imagining it is Andruil’s face as she tries to drown out the sound of hoots and catcalls coming from the high table. It doesn’t help much.

Her eyes catch a flash of red heading towards one of the exits from the hall, and it isn’t until Uthvir shoots her a sharp quelling glance that she even realizes that she is half way out of her seat to follow them. She bows her head slightly in reluctant acquiescence, muttering something about needing to take care of some of the equipment for the halla before turning and making her way towards a different door which leads towards the outside of the palace.

She finished her duties hours ago, of course, but that isn’t going to stop her from inventing some chore or other to take care of out in the stables. The halla shuffle around sleepily in their stalls as she scours the rest of the stables clean, sweeping up bits of old hay and scraping mud from a few places. There is magic to help with this sort of thing, naturally, but she doesn’t want it to be easy. She wants to feel her muscles strain and ache. She wants to feel busy. She wants to feel like she is capable of doing something _useful_.

She polishes fastenings and straps and saddles until her hands are raw and her nails are all but bleeding, fingers growing stiff and clumsy. She tries not to think; tries not to imagine what her heart might be enduring while she mops the floor of the stables for the third time that evening. Her gaze is fixed firmly on the task at hand, but her mind races over scenarios where she sets the entire palace on fire and feeds a certain evanuris to a particularly grouchy dragon. The scenes are so tempting that she finds herself tripping over the bucket holding the warm soapy water and landing heavily on her hands and knees.

Her right hand and left knee sting. Her pants tear open over the wound on her leg. Her eyes burn. _Pathetic._

She lets loose a strangled scream of pent up frustration, flinging the mop against the wall so hard that the handle snaps in two. The halla make a few distraught snorts at being startled awake in such a fashion, and she knows she should go to them, should offer comfort where she can, but she finds it is beyond her at the moment. All the grief and concern she is capable of is fixed on a single point, a single person, who is painfully beyond her reach.

What good is this devotion, this loyalty, this love? It could not save them. Could not protect them. Could not turn the evanruis’ gaze to some other more willing victim in their stead. All it has done is given Andruil the power to inflict pain on two people at once.

She manages to sit up, propping herself against the door of one of the stalls and bringing her knees up to her chest, wrapping her arms around them and pressing her face against the fabric of her leggings, trying to be as small as possible.

_‘I never should have come here.’_

The first sob that breaks past her lips makes her whole body tremble. After that, there is no stopping the tide of sorrow rising up to swallow her, hot tears burning down her cheeks, lungs aching, thoughts muddy and suffocating. She cries until her head aches. Until her breaths stutter and her shoulders shake. Until there is nothing left in her, but this hurt and the wish to escape it. She cries until she has no strength left for anything, and then, shivering and wretched and still huddled in a little ball on the stable floor, she falls asleep.

“Little fox?” The question is accompanied by a careful shake of her shoulder from a slender hand with very sharp nails. The touch recedes quickly as she stirs, eyes blinking slowly open to see Uthvir crouching on the ground in front of her, regarding her with a strange mix of both wariness and concern.

“Were you out here all night?”

She glances towards one of the open doorways, taking note of the gray watery light of very early morning pouring through it and spilling over the floor.

“I suppose I was,” she replies slowly, voice rough and throat scratchy from crying. She looks them over carefully, checking for any perceived damage to their person, but there is not much she can see with all of their armor on. They appear to be a little different than usual, though. Sharper perhaps, holding themselves farther away from her than they normally do. No kiss or caress or hand in her hair. Something twists in her chest. She swallows thickly. “Are you… How are you?”

Their gaze grows cutting for a few seconds, as though dissecting her intentions, but then they merely shrug, a mask of aloof indifference sliding over their features.

“Well enough.”

She says nothing, she simply looks at them, emotions trembling through the open air around them. There are no words for this. It burns, but she will not cry; they are the one who has suffered, and she will not ask them to comfort her for their own pain.

Her distress must be obvious enough though, because a few moments later they heave a sigh, something like resignation fliting across their face. It is hard to be sure though, their control over their emotions is always so much better than hers.

“How much do you know?” Uthvir asks quietly. There is a faint trace of bitterness to the question, or perhaps it is annoyance, she doesn’t think it is aimed at her though. At least, she hopes not.

“Not much,” she replies just at softly, not really up to recounting the various rumors the other hunters have been whispering loudly every time she walks by. And then, because it is also true, “Enough.”

“…I suppose it was inevitable that you would hear of it from someone or another,” they sigh again, a hard gleam in their eyes and a clench to their jaw that seems to imply that if they ever find out who told her, they are going to hurt them. Badly. They get to their feet, back straightening into something strong and determined, emotions still carefully guarded. “I am certain whatever you have been told was some gross exaggeration, however. The hunters are rather fond of their gossip.”

The lie is a poor one, but she does not contest it. She is not one to pry, and her concerns are focused in a somewhat different direction.

“Did this happen because we…” she falters as they meet her gaze. “Is this my fault?”

Uthvir stares at her for another long moment, as if deliberating something. At length, they shrug their shoulders again and make a dismissive gesture with one hand. Their customary smirk is back, but it doesn’t quite seem to reach their eyes.

“Who can say what whims shaped my lady’s desires? You yourself seem to find me pleasant enough to look at, do you not? It is not such a complicated thing to fathom.” When this does nothing to smooth the worried crease between her brows, they heave another sigh, weary this time. “It would have happened again eventually, little fox, regardless of the state of our…arrangements.”

“That doesn’t make it better!” she exclaims hotly, indignant with the unfairness of it, and slightly frustrated with their apparent apathy.

“This is the way the world works, Aili,” Uthvir counters coolly, “Nothing is without its cost, but it is much better to press your advantage where you can.”

Normally she would debate that, but this is hardly the place for that sort of heated discussion. Not to mention that in her present state of mind, most of her opinions on the matter are going to come off as bitter and childish. She does not want to fight with them. Not about that. Not after last night.

Uthvir must see how the words rankle her though, because their expression softens slightly, shaking their head before offering a hand to help her to her feet.

“Come, today’s hunt is not until this evening, and the halla will not be wanted until later. You should take a few hours’ rest on something a little more forgiving than the stable floor.”

She makes a face, considering insisting that she isn’t as worn down as she probably looks, but decides against it in the end. She cannot deny that she is tired, and she would not mind a little more privacy to speak with them either. She takes their hand and stumbles to her feet, slightly disappointed when they do not attempt to pull her closer, but she supposes that is understandable, given the circumstances.

The short walk to her rooms is silent, a strange tension in the air between them. Uthvir’s emotions are subtle and complex, and she can’t quite make out if they are upset or simply pensive.

They open her door for her and usher her inside with a sweep of their arm. When it looks like they do not intend to follow, she reaches out a hand to brush against theirs in passing, a quiet little sign of affection she tends to use when they might have an audience, but she hesitates, thinking better of it at the last second and moving to withdraw. Uthvir catches her retreating hand easily in their own, turning it over to inspect the ugly scrape along her palm, the pink swollen knuckles, the raw angry skin of her abused cuticles.

They frown at her briefly before turning their gaze back down the hall to make sure they are alone. Once their privacy is assured, they pull her into her room and shut the door behind them swiftly. Then they reach for her other hand, to see if it looks just as battered as the one already in their grasp. It does.

“Who have you been fighting this time, little fox?” Uthvir asks with an arched brow before whispering a spell to help heal her injured hands. They are not the most proficient of healers, but the scrape closes and some of the stiffness eases from her fingers. She gives a sigh of quiet relief before bringing her eyes up to meet theirs, a little of her usual spark back.

“Injustice,” she quips readily, only half joking. Uthvir snorts.

“In that case, I am pleased to see you escaped relatively unscathed, especially if your only weapon was that broken mop I saw back in the stables,” they note dryly.

“What better way to wash away the ugliness of a corrupt world than with a mop?” She grins, but there is a sharpness to it, a brittle bitter edge.

“I fear you would need to devote several years to naught but cleaning if your intention is to scour the entire world.” Uthvir’s voice is gentle, if slightly chiding. It as if their roles have been suddenly reversed, and she is the one full of snarls and jagged places, and they are the one reminding her of softness. How strange.

“I’ve got time,” she replies. She means it, too. If she saw some way of putting a stop to Andruil right now that didn’t seem likely to end up with one or both of them dead, she would take it. As it is, she is willing to wait for an opportunity while building her own strength and knowledge to the best of her abilities. After all, even an evanuris is not completely infallible; someday she’s bound to find a way to either escape this place with her lover or wipe Andruil’s existence completely off the face of the earth. Whichever option presents itself first, really. She’s not picky.

Uthvir steps closer to her, looming over her somehow even though they are only a few inches taller, still holding both of her hands. Their gaze bores into her, mouth set in a firm line. She’s not sure if they are about to scold her or…something quite the opposite.

“Do not do something rash and get yourself into the sort of trouble I cannot fish you out of, little fox,” they advise in a low voice, dropping one of her hands in favor of carefully tucking a stray curl behind her ear, the sharp talons of their gauntlet lightly scraping over her cheek. “The halla would be quite inconsolable.”

It is her turn to snort in amusement then.

“Ah. Well, you know I could never do anything that might upset the halla,” she replies, one corner of her mouth twitching upwards in a smaller, but much more genuine smile.

“I am glad to hear it,” Uthvir intones quietly. They bend down very slowly, almost as if they are testing something, but whether it is the limits of their own comfort, or offering her a chance to escape if she no longer finds them acceptable, she cannot say. She hopes it is not the latter, because the very idea of it is ridiculous, but she’s not about to voice that thought right now. She holds very still, waiting.

When their lips finally meet, it is with excruciating softness, and some vague uncertainty still hovering in the air between them. She leans into the kiss with something of a relieved sigh, which melts into a pleased hum as Uthvir uses the hand still in their grasp to tug her a bit closer. Their tongue dips into the slight part of her lips, and she opens her mouth obligingly to meet them, taking another half step towards them and bringing up her free hand to touch their neck.

Something about the movement is unexpected. Too fast. Too soon. Too close to places still hurting.

Uthvir pulls away like lighting, sending her stumbling back in shock. One of the spikes on their armor catches on her sleeve. There is an abrupt sound of fabric ripping, and suddenly her forearm is covered in blood.

She is more surprised than hurt. The wound is long, but fairly shallow, and it only takes a few quiet words and a wave of her hand to knit the skin of her arm back together flawlessly. Her shirt is not so easily mended.

Uthvir glowers at the torn and bloodied cloth, emotions growing dark and sharp before they hastily clamp down on them. They make an odd jerky motion with their hand, as though they meant to reach out to touch her arm, perhaps to make sure it is completely healed, but thought better of it at the last moment. Their jaw clenches as they turn back towards the door.

“I…apologize. I fear I am not especially good company at the moment,” their eyes dart back towards her, catching the distressed look on her face as much as the open concern pouring off of her in waves. They sigh, the tension in their shoulders easing ever so slightly. “This does not change things between us…unless you want it to. For the time being, however, it might be wiser to maintain a little distance.”

Their hand is on the handle of the door, and before she even takes the time to fully process what she’s doing, she shifts into the shape of a little gold and cream colored fox and darts between their legs to stand in front of them.

It is not the wisest move she could have made. Uthvir is still on edge from accidentally tearing a hole in her arm, among other things, and startles rather sharply at the sudden flash of movement coming from behind them. They seem to get a hold of themselves quickly enough though, and gaze down at her questioningly.

“Is this better?” she asks, sounding a bit breathless and possibly even desperate. Uthvir blinks in surprise.

“Better for what, precisely?” they ask, arching a brow.

“F-for…um, touching?” she suggests, shifting her weight on her paws and flicking her ears back a bit uncertainly. “For being close? I…uh… I don’t have hands as a fox, so I can’t grab you on accident or anything in this shape.” 

“There are other ways to avoid that problem, if you want me to touch you, little fox,” they tell her with a smirk and hint of a leer, visibly relaxing a bit as they slip behind the familiar mask of sexual bravado. “I’m sure we can find something in here to bind you with.”

“N-no! That’s not what I- _You_ were the one who said I should get some rest!” she sputters, pinning her ears back in mild annoyance. “That isn’t… It wouldn’t be… I mean, not that I don’t _like_ it when-”

She heaves a sigh, tail twitching in agitation before sidling up to them and gingerly nuzzling against their leg.

“Couldn’t you just…sit with me a while? Just until I fall asleep? I’ll stay in the shape of a fox, and you wouldn’t even have to take off any of your armor.” She blinks up at them, a little cloud of hope shivering out into the air. “Please?”

Uthvir looks at her for a long time without uttering a word, eyes piercing and emotions clamped down tight, seeming to weigh her request carefully. She tries to be patient, though every second of deafening silence adds to her doubts about raising the idea in the first place. Her ears and whiskers both droop a bit, and she’s all but certain they are going to refuse her when they finally open their mouth to speak.

“I…suppose I could manage that,” Uthvir says slowly, though they still don’t seem entirely sold on the idea.

She finds herself perking up instantly despite the somewhat hesitant manner of their consent, spinning around once in a little excited circle before trotting over towards her bed, brushing herself against their calf as she passes by. She hops up on the mattress and sits down to wait for them. When they continue to linger by the door, she tilts her head to one side as if to say, ‘Well, are you coming over or not?’

Despite her earlier assertions, Uthvir apparently decides that removing one or two of the spikier bits of their armor is prudent, likely for the sake of general comfort, avoiding more bodily injury, and not stabbing her mattress full of holes, which she appreciates. And, after another long glance at her and a bit more deliberation, they opt to remove their gauntlets as well. For half a moment, she thinks she catches sight of something like apprehension slide across their face, but then it is gone, and they cross the room and join her on the bed.

There is a bit of awkward shuffling, neither of them quite sure how to situate themselves in a manner that involves them being both comfortable and close. At least not when one of them is a fox and the other is covered in leather and metal. In the end, Uthvir winds up leaning against the headboard, a pillow pulled across their lap to give Aili something soft to curl up on. She snuggles back far enough to press against their stomach and, after a moment’s pause, Uthvir begins slowly brushing their hand over her. 

It seems a little odd at first, to be stroked like some sort of house pet, but the movements of their fingers in her fur are deft and soothing. She tries to think of it as a massage, and it _is_ relaxing, for both of them apparently. A few quiet minutes of smoothing their gloved hand down her side and lightly scratching just behind her ears seems to ease the tense line of Uthvir’s shoulders and puts her on the fast track towards sleep.

A thought comes to her mind, not an especially happy one, and not one she particularly wants to voice, because it is all but certain to spoil the peaceful hush between them. But there is a possibility that it could help ensure that there are fewer nights like the one they’ve both just endured, and that is not something she is capable of ignoring. She swallows thickly.

“If…if I left, if I went back to Arlathan…would it help?” the question leaves her in almost a whisper, she cannot bear to meet their eyes. “Would she stop, at least for now?”

Their hand stills, their touch receding, and she already regrets saying it.

“Perhaps,” they concede slowly. She turns her head to look up at them and they shrug, frowning slightly. “And perhaps not. The damage, as they say, has likely already been done.” Their face is stoic, brown eyes gazing at her intently, “If you wish to leave, however, I will help make the necessary arrangements.”

“I don’t _want_ to leave!” she insists, twisting around a bit to face them more fully. “I just hate not being able to do anything.”

“So, you will run instead?” they ask, arching a brow, clearly unimpressed. “I confess; I am surprised to see you giving up so easily.”

“It isn’t running away, it’s being sensible. It isn’t like we’d never see each other again if I went back to my family,” she snaps irately, lip curling slightly in aggravation. “I’m trying to _protect_ you, you ass!”

Uthvir blinks down at her in surprise, eyebrows inching up towards their hairline. Then they snort, their expression shifting into something fond and vaguely amused. They reach out and rub the spot just behind her ear.

“I suppose you had better stay then,” they tell her with a faint smirk. “You would make a poor bodyguard if you were no longer here to keep an eye on me.”

“I can’t tell if you’re being sweet or condescending,” she complains, though without much heat, leaning into their touch.

“Hm, that is always the question, is it not?” they reply with a grin.

“Do you…really want me to stay?” she asks, cocking her head to one side, sounding a bit unsure. “Even if it means…” She lets the sentence trail away, a bright flash of worry streaking up into the air above her.

Uthvir sighs, as though she is somehow making things difficult.

“…I told you once that I helped you get this position because I am selfish, and I wished to keep you close,” their emotions are held in check, as usual, but there is something soft in their gaze. “I…have not stopped being selfish, nor do I plan to stop at any time in the foreseeable future. My desires remain unchanged.”

She stares up at them, wide eyed and a little stunned.

“I…think I would like to kiss you now,” she says finally, sounding a bit breathless. Uthivr laughs.

“Soon enough, little fox,” they assure her.

She hums in acceptance, curling up on her pillow again and allowing them to resume stroking her fur, drifting back towards the shores of sleep. 

_‘It is never soon enough, Vhenan.’_


	5. Thenvunin

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A mess of RP things we did featuring Thenvunin. Occasionally devolves into authors yelling. Also some random LG halla meta. Bone apple tea!

L: (Ah, Thenvunin, we have finally found a use for you. The butt of jokes to bring awkward lovers together. I'm sure he would be thrilled.)

F: (Especially since Aili is STEALING HIS HUNTER like he doesn't really want them and they are garbage but OH NO XD)

L: (...uh oh. >_>)

Thenvunin: *keeps squinting at Aili trying to figure out what's so special about her anyway*

Aili: *Wearing an EXTREMELY forced smile and mostly likely screaming internally every time he says anything to her, because all she can think about is that he mistreated the halla and that makes him a 100% awful person...but unfortunately someone who is still in charge.*

Thenvunin: *keeps making up increasingly asinine and weird chores for Aili to do to try and keep her busy and also figure out why Uthvir is interested in her because she's pretty but not THAT pretty, like definitely not as pretty as Thenvunin, so there must be something else but he can't even figure out what it might be except that sometimes she kind of gets this glint in her eye like maybe she wants to fight him, which couldn't possibly be right, she's all tiny and... tiny. Too tiny. Not nearly an appropriate size, and... Aili is particularly rough with one of the crates he asked her to move, and Thenvunin's pants get a bit tighter...*

L: (LMAO SHE WOULD SHOOT HIM DOWN SO FAST HE WOULDN'T KNOW WHICH WAY WAS UP)

F: (HE WOULD WANT HER SO BAD AFTER THAT HE WOULD JUST BE LIKE BONER CITY IF SHE SHOT HIM DOWN)

L: (She...would likely start hiding from him. Not allowed to punch him, got to find some nooks to hide in.)

L: (and a lot of his favorite clothes maybe start getting holes cut in them...)

F: (Oh nooooooo XD)

F: (Fortunately Thenvunin prefers to be pursued than to pursue, so he'd mostly just hang around and make a nuisance of himself while being sexually frustrated.)

Thenvunin: *AGGRESSIVELY WANTS TO BE NOTICED*

Aili: *AGGRESSIVELY WANTS NOT TO BE*

L: (Aili would also just start loudly listing bad things about herself whenever she noticed he was around to try and make him piss off like, "OH IT IS TOO BAD I AM AN UNDER EDUCATED PEASANT WITH FEW SOCIAL PROSPECTS, I GUESS THAT IS WHY NOBLE PEOPLE SHOULDN'T WANT TO HANG OUT WITH ME! AND I TALK IN MY SLEEP!" And...it really just makes things worse. XD)

F: (Thenvunin's just like 'SIREN!!! SHE IS TRYING TO TEMPT ME WITH HER SLEEP TALKING PEASANT WAYS! I BET SHE WANTS TO SPIRIT ME OFF AND HAVE HER WICKED WAY WITH ME!!!’)

L: (PFFFT! Well, at least he is only annoying and not actually aggressive. Would Uthvir be annoyed or amused? ...or both?)

F: (Uthvir would think this was HILARIOUS, because Thenvunin's actually the opposite of dangerous to people he has hate crushes on. So not only is it funny to watch, but it makes Aili safer than she would be if Thenvunin just disliked her.)

F: (They'd be like 'don't actually sleep with him though he sucks'.)

L: (Poor Aili would be like, I AM NOT GOING TO SLEEP WITH HIM, I AM TRYING MY BEST TO AVOID KILLING HIM.)

F: (Uthvir would just be like 'yeah don't kill him that would be troublesome. Also don't kick him, he might like it'.)

Aili: *a shadow falls across her face, eye twitching* ...perhaps I should speak to the halla, and arrange an...'accident'. None of them like him, you know. He sits like a sack of rocks.

Uthvir: He is much heavier than he looks. One time he got startled and nearly gutted me in bed. That was the most interesting thing he ever did there, I suspect. Good thing I was wearing armour, so the wound didn't get too deep.

Aili: *a look of mild consternation* How many times have you slept with that moron? Anyway, it isn't so much about weight as it is about sitting properly on their back. If you know what you're doing, there is a lot less strain on them and they can carry you farther faster for longer. Thenvunin is so occupied with keeping his hair pretty that he just squats there like a useless lump, and the halla come back twice as tired as they should be.

Uthvir: That is fascinating! I had no idea. I just ride the things. None of them have tried to unseat me though, so I suppose I am not too offensive as a rider. I wonder why our tender never mentioned these things? Not that Thenvunin would listen, I suppose.

Aili: *colors slightly, puffing up a little, pleased* You're alright. You could be better though. I can show you, if you want.

Uthvir: *intrigued* Now, that would be something! I accept your offer. Show me how to ride, Aili. *They smirk at their own innuendo.*

Aili: Okay! :D <3 ...'why do they look so smug?'

~

L: (omg, Aili and Thenvunin would be SO incompatible though, for reals. They'd both just be sitting there like, "why aren't you doing anything??")

F: (...Yeah, that'd just be... it would not work out. Like maybe if they had a third person? Who they were both super comfortable with... oh gods. Uthvir supervising the world's least productive three-way. XD)

L: (LOL Which really just ends with Thenvunin tied up and Aili and Uthvir having sex XD)

F: (I WAS JUST THINKING THAT! I was like 'Uthvir would find Aili 9000% more engaging and Thenvunin just lies there so they'd probably just tie him up and make him watch.')

L: (HE WOULD BE SO MAD AND PROBABLY TURNED ON. XD "I AM SO BEAUTIFUL WHY AREN'T EITHER OF YOU RAVISHING ME?!")

Thenvunin: StoP rAVISHING EACH OTHER AND COME PAY ATTENTION TO ME!!!

Aili: Nah, we're good.

Uthvir: You can go if you want to.

Thenvunin: I CAN'T 'GO' YOU'VE TIED ME UP, YOU SAVAGES!

Uthvir: Those are really easy knots, Thenvunin; I am fairly certain Aili could foil them and she hasn't been tied up nearly as many times as you. Also you could probably just break them.

Thenvunin: ...I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU ARE TALKING ABOUT, THEY ARE INCREDIBLY DIFFICULT, THERE IS NO WAY I COULD POSSIBLY UNDO THEM WITHOUT ONE OF YOU COMING OVER HERE AND TAKING THEM OFF.

Thenvunin: …MAYBE BOTH OF YOU WOULD BE NEEDED. IT IS A SHAME BECAUSE I AM CERTAIN YOU WILL BE /OVERCOME/ WITH /LUST/ AS SOON AS YOU GET WITHIN RANGE OF MY VERY RAVISHABLE BODY!

Aili: ...he is sort of loud. It is a bit distracting. Maybe we should let him go? ...*she grins* Or gag him?

Uthvir: I like the way you think. *gets up and gags Thenvunin, treating him to a pat on the cheek before going back to Aili*

Thenvunin: *enraged and very obviously aroused, and still not trying all that hard to get away*

Uthvir: *whispers* when we are done, you should go over and step on him. I bet he'll come.

Aili: *laughing, but trying to be quiet about it* S-step on...as in his privates?! That would really-? *more muffled laughter*

Uthvir: *grinning, obviously enjoying this whole thing very much* It would, I swear!

Aili: *glances over Thenvunin and then looks back at Uthvir, grinning* I'm willing to bet we won't even have to touch him.

Uthvr: *eyes light up; they lean in, practically purring* Now that is something worth trying for... *promptly forgets Thenvunin exists, then, because Aili*

Thenvunin: *picture of sexual frustration*

Aili: *would normally be embarrassed in this situation, but is 95% sure Thenvunin will be too humiliated to say much about what actually went down in here, plus, this is just another chance to stick it to him. Maybe plays up the sounds of her enjoyment a /little/ more than usual. Not that she has to try too hard.*

Uthvir: *would enjoy this situation so much, making it extremely enthusiastic and surprisingly playful on their part. At one point they'd probably up the challenge by going and blindfolding Thenvunin, too, so they had to make him come based purely off of sound. Coincidentally makes it all a little more comfortable for Aili, too.*

L: (LOL I sort of feel bad for Thenvunin...but not too much. >_>)

F: (He is, in fact, enjoying himself. Weirdly enough... in a way... ^^;)

L: (He is ...sort of being included? They are kind of involving him in the most distant way possible.)

F: (He is part of the team! :D)

F: (He has a very important job - sit there, do not move, and touch nothing!)

L: (All things he is good at!)

F: (Especially in terms of bedroom activities!)

L: (Would Aili and Uthvir succeed in their mission?)

F: (Almost definitely. Thenvunin's got a hair trigger.)

L: (lol Aili would have conflicted feelings like, 'That was AMAZING sex, but I did have to deal with Thenvunin...but not very much! I like him a lot more when he can't say anything. ...but he is still an ass and doesn't treat the halla right.')

F: (Thenvunin would just be like 'look at those lustful fiends so aroused by my beauty that they couldn't keep their hands off of each other! Even to the point where they didn't touch me!')

F: (And Uthvir would be smug for daaaays...)

L: (XD Yeah, I think Uthvir is definitely the person most satisfied with how that all played out. Very good sex +one more way to tease Thenvunin = A+ time 10/10 would do again.)

~

L: (LMAO AILI TURNED THENVUNIN DOWN FLAT. OMG I'M DYING XD)

F: (XD SHE WAS JUST LIKE 'NAH' AND THENVUNIN WAS LIKE ?!?!? BUT I?? I AM BEAUTIFUL???)

Aili: *shrugs*

Thenvunin: *horrified gasping*

L: (She'd probably like him a lot better if she saw him being nice to all his weird animals. Doesn't /quite/ make up for mistreating the halla, but it proves he isn't /completely/ horrible.)

F: (He doesn't mistreat them /on purpose/ he just doesn't understand what to do with anything larger than a goat. XD)

L: (But he insulted their pretty horn carvings?!)

F: (Yes. He thinks they are lame because they don't like him.)

Thenvunin: They're not /proper/ animals, anyway, they're /Ghilan'nain's/.

Aili: *horrified gasp*

Uthvir: *procures popcorn*

Aili: /You're/ not a proper animal!

Thenvunin: ...Naturally not? I am not an animal? Though I supposed I could see where a follower of Ghilan'nain would have trouble discerning the difference between people and beasts.

Aili: In your case, yes, it is difficult. Most beasts I meet are noticeably more pleasant.

Thenvunin: *sneers* What did you call me, you wretched little servant?

Uthvir: She called you unpleasant, Thenvunin. Calm down. It's not the end of the world.

Aili: I could call you something else, if you prefer.

F: (Oh god. Thenvunin would march off in a huff, and then go stew in his juices, and then he would try and figure out how to get back at her, and he'd decide to seduce away all of Uthvir's attention. XD)

L: (good luck with that. :P Though...Uthvir probably doesn't mind.)

F: (Uthvir's just amused. It'd be a laugh riot for them. XD)

L: (Aili probably wouldn't even be bothered by Thenvunin making moves on Uthvir. She's used to them having other lovers, it hasn't stopped them from wanting to be with her romantically or otherwise. #is that all you got?)

F: (Plus at this point Uthvir would just be like 'hmm, I could go to bed with Thenvunin aka Captain Dead Fish, to help soothe all the feathers he ruffled himself by being an ass to Aili, or I could go have sizzling intercourse with someone who I am romantically bananas about... hmm...')

L: (If he was REALLY annoying about it though, she miiiight wait until Thenvunin was clearly in the middle of propositioning Uthvir and just walk past the two of them and sort of loudly lament how cold it gets in her rooms at night. All alone. *sighs wistfully and walks away swinging her hips a little more than she really needs to*)

F: (Uthvir'd be like 'bye Thenvunin' and Thenvunin would be all 'but I AM PRETTIER!!' and then he would consider whether or not she'd been... perhaps she'd been directing those swaying hips at *him*? That would certainly make more sense. In fact, this whole thing was probably a plot to trap him into another three-way!)

Thenvunin: *Staunchly retreats to his rooms, waiting for them to come ravish him.*

Thenvunin: *Falls asleep sitting up on his bed and wakes up the next morning still alone and un-ravished. Is outraged at first, but then reasons that those two lascivious beasts were likely so aroused by the mere thought of his beauty that they could not contain their disgusting carnal desires long enough to reach him and simply ravished each other instead. Probably while frustrated with their lack of restraint and crying his name.*

F: (XD Yes, Thenvunin. I am certain that is exactly what happened. Aili especially kept crying out for you all the times she came. And Uthvir sighed a lot, and tried to imagine her hair was nearly as lustrous as yours.)

Thenvunin: *nods* It is the only explanation that makes sense. *Puts on most alluring yet-publicly-acceptable outfit he owns to really bring the point home when he heads out for breakfast. It is very purple.*

Aili: *looks somewhat disheveled and very smug*

Thenvunin: *positions self nearby; aiming for alluring but he can't loosen up enough for it so it just looks like he is sort of patting the wall* Disappointing evening?

Aili: *blinks, startles slightly* Oh, Thenvunin. I didn't see you there. ...did you want something? Uthvir isn't here yet.

Thenvunin: And I bet you know all about wanting things. Things that do not happen. Things that you perhaps did not get to. Beautiful, tempting things. *Flips hair*

Aili: *makes a face at him like he's being weird, confused* Well...I guess I don't get to leave the palace grounds very often, so it can get a little dull around here when the hunters are gone. I'd like to explore more of the woods around here, but they can be pretty dangerous by yourself, and I'm not allowed on hunts. ...this seems like a strangely deep choice of breakfast conversation for you, I must say.

Thenvunin: Aha! I see! So I suppose you might think it was a fine idea for us to go out into the woods together, then? With Uthvir, perhaps? Just to... say... enjoy the scenery and the ‘pleasure’ of one another's company?

Aili: *confusion increasing* 'Pleasure' of... Thenvunin, we aren't even capable of having a single conversation that doesn't end with at least one of us being offended, why would I want to go traipsing through the woods with you? ...oh, did you need more help with the halla? I heard one threw you again.

Thenvunin: *glares at the halla pen* The wretched beasts hate me! For no reason! And their horns are tacky. *Straightens fuchsia vest with golden ducks embroidered onto it*. But that is beside the point. I suppose if you insist, we could all make this excursion you're clearly driving at.

Aili: *scowling, she walks over to the nearest halla to give them scritches. The halla makes pleased snuffling noises and starts nuzzling her face and neck.* The first step towards making friends is to avoid insulting them, Thenvunin. And I'm not driving anything. If you want to wander off into the woods with Uthvir, take it up with them.

Thenvunin: *baffled* ...Are... did you... you want to be my friend? When was that ever a concern of yours? And of course you will want to come. Why would you suggest it and then not want to come? Is this some game of yours? Beyond the obvious, at least.

Aili: *eyebrows rising* I'm really not concerned with you /at all/, if you want to know the truth. I was talking about the halla. If you want them to be nicer to you, you should try being nicer to them. I think that might be the only thing I have ‘obviously’ suggested in this entire conversation.

Thenvunin: Your preoccupation with these creatures is bizarre. Everyone knows Ghilan'nain's little 'inventions' are not even true creatures. They are all modified and over-bred and muddled beyond comprehension. None of them would survive long out of their pens. It is a cruelty that they even exist, in many ways.

Aili: *sneers* A halla would survive a lot longer out in those woods than /you/ would, Thenvunin. They can find trails through the forest better than any hunter, and they can always find their way home, they can be brave and affectionate and occasionally even cunning. And they can definitely tell when the person riding them has no regard or respect for them. Perhaps they are not the ones who are over-bred and muddled, hm? More than that, it is my job to be preoccupied with them. I wouldn't be a very good halla tender if I didn't actually tend to the halla.

Thenvunin: We used to have halla at the palace. Two of them. They lasted a month before they began to fall apart. And I mean that literally; they were spitting up blood, and the hair on their hides began to fall out. Their horns began to slant until they had to be removed to keep from pressing onto their skulls. Their tender said it was an affliction not wholly uncommon to their kind. When they died, Mythal sent her back to your lady, and sensibly never had much interest in these beasts again. As I understand it, expecting Ghilan'nain's monsters to out-live their battlefield utilities is highly optimistic. How soon before these halla fall apart, and require replacements?

Aili: *furious* That was /ages/ ago! My lady was still perfecting them, and that tender was deemed incompetent. She was punished accordingly. Clearly, that is no longer an issue. Andruil has had these halla for decades and they are still as healthy as when my lady granted them to her!

Thenvunin: /Decades/? *He looks slightly more interested now, staring a little more closely* How long are they meant to last these days, then? Do they still go to pieces towards the end? I suppose Andruil's sort would be apt to simply kill them before things became too gruesome.

Aili: *blinks in surprise at the change* I...believe they are meant to live for two or three hundred years, but it can vary depending on environment and how they are cared for, and how grueling the duties they are given tend to be. I've...never seen one fall apart. *she shudders* I hope I never have to. And the hunters would never be permitted to kill them. If they grew too weak to be of use, Andruil would be required to send them home.

Thenvunin: *sniffs* She did not seem to want ours back when they began to deteriorate. I suppose she has determined that is a bad policy? I can see why she would. The scent of blood lingered in the stables for days. *He looks vaguely sick at the memory, before shaking his head*. How gruelling a duty can they take? Andruil seems to send these out quite frequently.

Aili:*rolls her eyes* Running and exercise is good for them. They /like/ going on hunts. Bearing a rider isn't too much of a strain, even one as incompetent as you. If you sent a halla to a mine to drag around huge carts full of gems and ore every day, they probably wouldn't do nearly as well.

Thenvunin: *frowns* Are they used for that? Mythal certainly never sent hers to any mines. The most they were asked to do was carry various dignities around, and sit in the gardens. They scarcely ran, as I recall. The tender said they did well enough in their pens.

Aili: *also frowns* They aren't /meant/ to be used for that, certainly. It was an example. And I believe we have already covered the fact that the tender sent to Mythal was, in fact, quite incompetent. A halla isn't some decorative pet, you know. My lady prefers creations which are beautiful /and/ useful.

Thenvunin: You say that as if beauty is not useful in and of itself. I have been on battlefields with some of her beasts. One of her... what was it... it had tusks? And claws? It gored its handler and started stampeding through our own ranks as soon as they enemy began to withdraw. And I do not believe that could be attributed to the handler's incompetence; unless Ghilan'nain is fond of promoting those of poor skill to her uppermost ranks.

Aili: *arches a brow* Well...she certainly wouldn't be the first evanuris to do so.

Thenvunin: ...If that was aimed at me, you really are getting above yourself over Uthvir's fancy for you.

Aili: *feigns innocence* I never said it was about you, did I? Goodness, Thenvunin, you're beginning to sound paranoid.

Thenvunin: *sniffs* Of course it was about me. You are quite preoccupied with me. Not that anyone would blame you; your associations with Uthvir have brought you into social strata that you would likely never see otherwise. In a way, I almost admire your willingness to seize the advantage.

Aili: *makes a face* I am /not/ preoccupied with you, I can promise you that. And I came here to work with the halla, that's /it/. I was perfectly content with my 'social strata' in Arlathan, though I did miss the trees.

Thenvunin: Your social strata in Arlathan? You mean cleaning up after everyone and living in those grey blockades where they do not even put gardens? Ridiculous. There is no shame in putting your assets to good use. Particularly given Uthvir's likelihood of using them with or without your cooperation. I was being /complimentary/.

Aili: *sourly* Yes, being surrounded by my family and friends every day, it was terrible. Who would enjoy that? And I'm not sure what assets you think I'm using, I'm just trying to be good at my job.

Thenvunin: ...Are you being sarcastic? Because if I had to live with any of my relatives, I think I would actually fling myself out of a window. And the assets I refer to are your feminine wiles, with which you charmed Uthvir. Obviously. Probably incidentally; am I right in supposing they accosted you not long after meeting you? Probably in some filthy alleyway, even. All groping and sweaty and illicit.

Aili: *turns a bit red and glowers* I don't think I like what you are implying about either me or my friend with that assertion.

Thenvunin: No? Did they wait until you were indoors to start pawing your clothes off? How courteous of them. I remember the first time I caught Uthvir's gaze; I could barely fend them off me, and we are the same rank.

Aili: Yes, well...everyone makes mistakes.

Thenvunin: *baffled* What does that have to do with anything?

Aili: Why that regret born from a single poor decision may follow someone around for ages. And possibly even choose to pester their friends when they are trying to do their job.

Thenvunin: Are you attempting to change the subject? I suppose it would be awkward for you to compare yourself to me. Very well; I shall leave you to your work. Until our outing later, of course.

Aili: Yes, it would be very awkward to compare myself to you, for quite a few reasons. *blinks* What outing?

Thenvunin: Our outing, of course. The one you keep insisting upon. Do try and keep up.

Aili: *throws hands up* I've haven't insisted on anything?!

Thenvunin: *sniffs* I /am/ capable of picking up on your subtleties from time to time, you know. You need not protest so hard. I have already agreed!

Aili:*has no idea what the heck he is talking about so she just shakes her head at him and goes back to work.*

Thenvunin: *gets lost in the goddamn woods alone because of course he does.*

F: (Wow. That was them both on their best behaviour. Holy shit.)

L: (She was suuuuuuuper close to slapping him about trash talking the halla that got sent to

Mythal and implying that her halla would do just as badly.)

F: (Thenvunin just thinks that's how Ghilan'nain's stuff works! They're all disreputable frankenmonsters in his head. He doesn't even think he's being mean, just frank.)

L: (To be fair, a lot of them probably ARE like that. ^^; BUT not the precious pretty halla! *coos at them* Plus, omg it is so rude to say so? He is lucky she is so low on the food chain...and that Uthvir has kept her from developing any sort of relationship with Andruil.)

F: (So lucky. Thenvunin would be incensed if anyone said something like that about his birds, even though Ghilan'nain is far from the only person to muck about with the natural order of things. He's just an insecure hypocrite in a lot of ways, really. And yeah, extremely lucky that Aili's low rank - though he'd honestly probably bite his tongue more if she had real pull.)

L: (Well, I mean, if she was the sort to play those kind of games, she could probably slip some offhand comment about his low opinion of halla and Ghilan'nain into the conversation the next time Andruil decided to join the hunting party and came to get her mount. But, that would likely get her some unwanted attention, too. Plus, she's not really one for political BS if she can avoid it.)

F: (Yeah. Plus, if she's starting to build up suspicions about Andruil's bedroom activities, drawing the evanuris' attention to Thenvunin might strike her as disproportionate retribution, given how that attention could manifest - if it doesn't entirely backfire and just focus it all onto herself instead. Probably wise to refrain from that stuff, really.)

L: (Yeah, Andruil is definitely higher on her shit list than Thenvinin anyway, she'd be a little galled to try to get her help for anything. And she wouldn't want something /terrible/ to happen to him...she'd just maybe sort of like it if someone who was allowed to slap him took care of that for her. Annnnd getting the evanuirs' attention, bedroom or otherwise, would likely mean that Uthvir would have to step in and try to turn the attention to them instead, which is 100% not an acceptable outcome.)

F: (Yup. Can't have Uthvir flinging themselves in front of that particular bus any more than absolutely necessary. Aili needs time to figure out how she's going to assassinate one of the most powerful people in Elvhenan without making everything go pear-shaped on them first. X3)

L: (She definitely has her hands full. Thenvunin is small potatoes. Just have to wait until he goes away, nothing for it. Or, you know...if he gets eaten by something because he wandered off into the woods alone like an idiot. XD)

F: (Uthvir would tiredly fish him out while he screeched about the heinous wilderness and probably clung to them like a lamprey the whole trip back. What even was that horrible creature, he would demand. 'A moose,' Uthvir tells him. 'And it was leaving you alone until you shrieked at it and fell into the lake.')

L: (OMG XD A moose! PFFT He probably mistook it for some sort of failed halla)

F: (Some sort of nightmare creation of Ghilan'nain's, no doubt! Nevermind if Uthvir insists they're 'natural' how could anything with horns like that be 'natural'?!)

Thenvunin: That horrid little halla tender probably sicced it on me in a fit of jealousy!

F: (Makes sense, man. I mean that definitely sounds like her. She was probably trying to kill you so Uthvir would stop shouting your name in bed.)

L: (Yes, clearly! But Uthvir discovered her nefarious plot and could not bear the thought of the world losing such beauty!)

F: (Of course not! It's kind of surprising that Aili was willing to sacrifice him, in fact, but she's less... selfless... than Uthvir? Wait, that doesn't sound right...)

L: (Deny things harder, Thenvunin, it seems to be working for you thus far. ;) )

F: (Thenvunin: Who is denying what? I am not denying anything! I am a paragon of self-awareness! *new Spirit of Denial is born*)

Thenvunin: ‘Well, perhaps...this was a conspiracy after all? Uthvir is out here in the woods. They probably got their dirty little halla servant to attack him with that hideous beast so Thenvunin would let his guard down and feel some sort of gratitude and be more amenable to Uthvir having their wicked way with him! And she is probably lurking in the bushes to spring out and join them in ravishing him at any moment!’

F: (Oh, jeez. He just spends the entire rest of his visit waiting for them to tag-team him and getting increasingly frustrated when nothing happens. Eventually he's just like 'this tension is doing me no good and the ravishment is ~inevitable~ and just goes and sets himself up naked on Uthvir's bed for his last night at the palace... and Uthvir spends the night in Aili's rooms instead. XD)

~

L: (Omg, Thenvunin, how do you even HAVE conversations with Aili? I mean he could literally go up to her and be like, "I want Uthvir" and she'd look at him funny and be like, "Okay, well, they're right over there.")

L: (I mean, he would never say that, just proving a point, really)

Thenvunin: *makes incredibly roundabout and convoluted attempt to 'explain' that Aili needs to stop /distracting/ Uthvir. Gets frustrated when Aili actually addresses the topic of Uthvir's attention levels. Can't clarify any further without admitting to things he doesn't want to. Lashes out. Confuses Aili more.*

F: (Like, just, inborn chaos with those two, especially whenever romantic/sexual topics crop up.)

L: (HOW DID HE EVER MANAGE TO PROPOSITION HER FOR SEX???)

F: (I HAVE NO IDEA HE PROBABLY HAD TO ORDER HER TO RAVISH HIM AGAINST HIS WILL XD )

Aili: *blinks* I'm...not... What? Ravish? You want.../me/ to...???

Thenvunin: Do not play coy. We both know it is going to happen sooner or later. Given that, I would rather have it done with than endure your lingering, inappropriate gazes any longer.

Aili: *900% baffled* I...have no idea what you are talking about. Not even the slightest bit. I can...try not to look at you? I guess? I mean, it is probably going to happen once or twice on accident or something, unless you tie a bell around your neck so I can hear you coming.

Thenvunin: Oh ho, and now your bizarre /kinks/ are coming into play! Well, I have far too much dignity for that sort of thing. If you want a bell on me, you are going to have to pin me down and tie it on yourself.

Aili: ...you do realize you are at least a foot taller than me, if not more, and you could most likely carry me around under one arm without breaking a sweat. ...how in the world do you think I would manage to physically force you to do /anything/ that you didn't want me to?

Thenvunin: I am certain you would make full use of your wiles to manage it, somehow. Some trap enchantment or charm. You are a servant of Ghilan'nain, after all; if you can contain a mighty, deformed monstrosity, surely an elf is not beyond your means.

Aili: *up go her eyebrows* You...seem to have put quite a bit of thought into this...thing. Whatever it is. Though I must admit, I never thought I'd hear you compare yourself to a chimera. It takes very specific spells to bind them, they wouldn't manifest the same way on an elf.

Thenvunin: I am certain that is what you would insist after the fact, should I attempt to raise any complaints. But I think we both know what would be futile. So. In light of all this, it really just would be best to get it done with. There is only one way this is ending. Sooner is preferable to later, if only to put it behind us. Though I doubt a single incidence will appease you, either.

Aili: ...Just to clarify, you want me to...bind you with the same magic I would use to contain a chimera? ...and possibly hang a bell on your neck. ...and then not look at you anymore? ........Dare I ask, why?

Thenvunin: What you do when you have me at your mercy is your own business! But do not pretend that you would not sate your carnal lusts upon my form. I know how attractive I am.

L: (Somewhere, Uthvir is laughing so hard they are red in the face)

F: (Uthvir is /dying/ oh my god.)

Aili: ...my what? Look, it doesn't matter how pretty you are, I'm telling you, if I use the binding spell for chimeras on you, chances are you're going to need to see a healer. Quickly.

Thenvunin: The specifics of the spell do not matter. Obviously you would have one tailored to suit your nefarious purposes in ravishing me! *getting impatient*

Aili: *a bit flabbergasted* ...you think I've done this to other people???

Thenvunin: Of course you have! But even if you haven't, I'm certain you would make an exception for anyone who particularly caught your eye. Do not play coy with me!

Aili: Only if I wanted to /kill/ them! I don't cast dangerous magic on people just because they're bothering me!

Thenvunin: Bothering...? No! To subdue them so that you can unleash your wicked lusts upon them!

F: (Uthvir, somewhere, is laughing so hard they have to use a wall to hold themselves up)

Aili: Well, I can't speak for your preferences, of course, but "dead" is a little /too/ subdued, in my opinion.

Thenvunin: *baffled* What?

F: (Uthvir's just gone. Can't even pretend they're not losing it over this. It's like they're speaking different languages, it's spectacular.)

Aili: *makes a face* Did you miss the part where the binding magic you are suggesting I use would probably seriously injure you? We're talking blood everywhere. And you'd probably have the mental capabilities of a vegetable. Possibly for the rest of your life, depending on what healers we could get you to.

Thenvunin: Are you threatening me?! I have already acquiesced to your salacious demands! There will be no need for such measures!

Aili: *sighs* How was it a threat when it was /your/ suggestion? ...when did I demand anything?

Thenvunin: You may maintain deniability all you like, but we both know the direction to which your lustful thoughts turned the moment you laid eyes upon me!

Aili: *the most confused face* I...actually don't remember what I happened to be thinking about when you came to visit the first time. Nothing that particularly sticks in my memory. I might have been wondering if Pride would be among your party, I hadn't seen him in a long time. Or maybe dinner. *she shrugs*

Thenvunin: No, you were thinking about having your way with me. Tying me up and plundering my body for its spoils. Using me to satisfy your base, carnal lusts. It was ridiculously apparent to everyone.

Aili: ...I don't think I've ever thought that about /anyone/ after only seeing them for a few minutes across a courtyard. Or.../ever/, really.

Thenvunin: That was so convincing I almost believed it. You have a talent for deception, it seems.

Aili: *blinks* The truth is usually pretty convincing, for most people.

Thenvunin: Exactly the sort of thing a talented liar would claim! Look, there is no point in drawing this out. Just take me off and have your wicked way with me, and when we can be done with it. For now.

Aili: *sighs deeply* Look...I know this is Andruil's territory and all, and people around here are into some weird stuff, but I'm really not interested in using a dangerous spell on you just to sate your...curiosity?

L: (Uthvir would come help clear things up. If they could stop laughing for more than a few seconds. )

F: (Uthvir trying in between breaths - 'no, Aili, he wants you to-' 'I DO NOT /WANT/ ANY SUCH THING!' '-*dies laughing, can't speak anymore*)

Thenvunin: /My/ predilections have absolutely nothing to do with this! And I do not appreciate your attempts to imply otherwise. You wish to ravish me; I am saying you may as well.

Aili: *completely deadpanned* I...think you are confused. I do not want to... 'ravish' you. I never said that. ...did Uthvir put you up to this? This sounds like one of their jokes.

Thenvunin: Why would you not want to ravish me? Have you /seen/ me? I am exceedingly ravishable.

Aili: *shrugs* Well, you said yourself that you don't even want me to anyway, so I'm sure it's something of a relief, right?


	6. Baby Halla

As far as Aili is concerned, one of the greatest downsides to being a low-ranking servant, of which there are quite a few, is that the prospect of having children is a nigh impossible dream. She hasn’t even gotten much of a chance to interact with them either, of course, but a few years after her family had moved to Arlathan, there had been three mid-level followers working in their lady’s city estate who had a child, and every so often she had passed them in the hall and waved. And when a friend of her mother had banded together with a large group of other servants to petition for the right to have a baby a few decades later, she had actually gotten to hold them in her arms for a few minutes. Small and soft and wriggling, the little boy had blinked up at her and smiled. And she had been hopelessly and irrevocably lost.

She is still relatively young, and there is always the chance of gaining rank and favor with time. But…it is a slim hope at best.

As a halla tender working in Andruil’s palace, her standing has improved, though not enough to get her anywhere near the amount of clout she would need so successfully petition to have a child on her own. Normally, having a high-ranking lover would be a windfall in this sort of situation, but Uthvir’s relationship with their lady is…complicated. And dangerous. If even the thought of them being truly devoted to one of their sex partners is enough to raise Andruil’s ire, she can only imagine what she would do to them if they asked for permission to have a child.

And Aili is not all that certain that Uthvir is especially…parental. Not that she doesn’t think they could love and care for a child, but being capable of something is not the same as wanting it. And she would be the last person to force their hand on anything.

Which is why, she suspects, she is so keen to dote upon her charges.

So, when she receives the notice from one of Ghilan’nain’s highest ranking attendants that their lady wishes to breed one of her favorite halla, who is beginning to get on in years, with one of the ones granted to her wife, Aili is _ecstatic_.

Alright, so she can maybe concede that a halla fawn is not precisely the same thing as having her own baby. And she’ll likely have to send it back to Ghilan’nain’s territory as soon as it can be weaned from its mother. But still. A halla that is a baby. A baby halla. Two of her favorite things rolled into one. It is hard not to be excited.

Andruil, on the other hand, is not particularly thrilled that one of her halla will be useless for hunts and riding for nearly an entire year, but as the animals are technically only on loan to her from her wife, there is not much she can do about the situation. Which leads to a rather tense stretch of time where there is a healthy amount of concern that the huntress may take out those frustrations on Uthvir instead. Mercifully for (almost) everyone involved, Ghilan’nain also manages to completely botch a rather large toothsome beast, who ‘accidentally’ escapes into Falon’Din’s farmlands and ravages crops and peasants alike by spitting acid everywhere.

And, naturally, being the benevolent, helpful sort that she is, Andruil wastes no time in setting out to kill the beast before her brother can muster enough offence to start railing at her wife. Not that he won’t anyway. But it is generally better to be proactive in this sort of situation.

By the time Uthvir returns from the hunt with a significantly more content Andruil and dead monster in tow, the breeding specialist has already arrived with Ghilan’nain’s chosen sire and is talking Aili through some of the finer points of what to expect during her charge’s pregnancy.

“They are not going to say and help you?” Uthvir wonders once they are finally alone in the stables and Aili is soothing the expectant mother with a brush.

“Once the pregnancy is confirmed, there really isn’t much for them to do,” Aili explains, smiling widely, clearly pleased, “Her diet is going to change a little, and I’ll need to ensure that the others don’t bother her and cause any undue stress, but really, there isn’t much to worry about until we get closer to the actual birth. And even that doesn’t sound too difficult, as long as nothing goes wrong. They told me some warning signs to look for, and some spirits I should contact for help, so that she stays nice and calm while I help her get the baby out. I’ve assisted with one or two births before, though, granted, they weren’t halla, but I’m pretty sure I can handle this.”

“I am certain you will,” Uthvir agrees easily. They study her face for a moment, assessing, before arching a brow at her and noting, “You seem especially…. enthusiastic about this whole situation.”

Aili colors slightly and reaches up to scratch behind the halla’s ears.

“It’s…an interesting challenge,” she allows, not quite meeting their eyes. “Babies…all babies, are delicate, you know. It takes a certain temperament to care for them properly, patience and caution. It usually gets handed to…more important people. I never thought I’d get the chance to…”

Uthvir stares at her for a log few minutes after her sentence trails off, and she is just a little bit worried that they are going to bring up the fact that they have no interest in children. That to even entertain the slimmest hope for such things is a foolish waste of time. They don’t, though.

“I see,” is all they say in reply, closing their eyes briefly and inclining their head.

The pregnancy takes on the first try. The breeder leaves with the sire soon afterwards, and Aili is left to manage things on her own. Eager to ensure that things go well, but also anxious at the prospect of punishment and displacement if they do not, even despite her efforts. She is a flurry of near constant activity, trying to get through her regular chores before turning attention to her pregnant charge. Ordering books on the subject and pouring over them repeatedly. Running almost daily checks to ensure that both mother and fawn are healthy and content.

Uthvir does what they can to assist her as the months seem to slowly craw by. Usually not directly, of course, as they know almost nothing about halla tending outside of what they have gleaned from Aili over the years. And it would be rather incongruous with their reputation. That, and it might be a bit…telling, in terms of where their affections lie. Which would be problematic for everyone.

But they do manage to bully Sassan into helping her out every now and then, as well as getting one or two of the other stable hands to check in on her whenever she seems to be having a particularly busy day.

However, when the long seven months of gestation are finally at an end, and a spirit of Tranquility who has been keeping an eye on the halla from the Dreaming gently pulls her from her sleep to see to her charge, it is very early in the morning. And, after a rather fervent evening of making love in Aili’s little room, there is no one else to ask for help except Uthvir.

At first she only sends them to fetch things while she attends to her patient, a basin of warm water, clean towels, and a few potions meant to ease the birthing process if it seems like things are going badly. But then she tells them to hold the halla’s head and try to soothe them while she and Tranquility attempt to hurry the arrival of the fawn, and they give her a very pointed look. She catches their eye and snorts.

“Oh, come on,” she huffs out, amused, but obviously distracted by the situation at hand, “You don’t have to be a fearsome hunter right now. Me and the halla both already know how nice you are, and we’ve kept your secret thus far.”

“I am afraid you and the halla are the only ones of that opinion,” Uthvir informs her somewhat archly, prompting a breathless laugh from Aili as she continues with her work.

“Well, everyone else is wrong,” she replies easily, “As usual.”

Uthvir smirks in their customary fashion, but they can’t quite manage to hide their pleasure at her assertion either, removing their gauntlets and carefully stroking the halla between its long twisting horns.

The doe blinks up at them with dark liquid eyes, long white lashes fluttering as she pants and moans quietly through the struggle of her labor. She leans into their hands, pressing for more of the comfort offered as she lies on the straw covering the floor of her stall. It is a bit surprising, since Andruil’s halla tend to be a bit aggressive, given the chance. They seem to like Aili well enough, however, and perhaps between her endorsement, and the creature’s mild distress, the halla is more amenable to receiving affection than usual.

It takes a little less than an hour, but by the time the sunlight has finally broken over the tree line, the halla has finished delivering her prize, and Aili has the little tangle of pale fur and long gangly limbs safely nestled in her lap.

The fawn shivers in her arms, turning its head about and flicking its ears rapidly, as though trying to take in all of the world at once. It bleats softly when it makes out the large white figure of its mother though, and Aili has to tighten her grip a little so she can continue to wipe them clean and inspect them for any abnormalities. She can’t seem to help the wide grin of satisfaction on her face, however, or the genuine pride that colors the air around her.

“You seem pleased,” Uthvir notes, seeming to indulge in a bit of contentment themselves, or perhaps it is merely relief. After all, there likely would have been all sorts of hoops they would have had to jump through to try and keep her out of harm’s way if this had gone badly. Aili beams at them.

“They are absolutely perfect,” she declares blithely as she helps lift the fawn onto their feet so it can join its mother. “And you were marvelous. If you ever get tired of being one of Andruil’s hunters, I would be more than willing to take you on as an assistant.”

“I shall bear that in mind,” they hum in reply, vaguely amused.

The fawn wobbles over to its mother on trembling legs, and is thoroughly inspected with snuffles and gentle nudges of her nose. Once she seems satisfied that all is as it should be with her child, the doe lays her head down in the straw and closes her eyes, seeking sleep. Her baby doesn’t appear to be quite done with its explorations just yet, though.

A few steps away from its mother has the little creature staring Uthvir directly in the eye. It studies them for half a moment, judging them perhaps, before bleating at them and tumbling gracelessly into their lap. They gaze down at the milky white fawn with an air of mild bafflement before shooting Aili a curious glace.

“It looks like you’ve made a new friend,” she observes with a delighted snicker.

“The creature clearly has no instinct for self-preservation,” Uthvir counters dryly. The fawn butts at their chest and bleats in protest. Aili laughs again.

“Halla are excellent judges of character!” she insists with a smirk of her own, scooting over to sit next to them and scratch the fawn behind its ears, not even trying to pull it away from them. “Its mother is relaxed and content, and possibly even a bit grateful, and there are nothing except positive feelings in here, so it knows that you must be a good person.”

“And what of you?” Uthvir wonders.

“I know you’re a good person, too,” Aili grins, leaning over to press a lingering kiss to their cheek.

“That…was not what I meant,” they reply, turning their face more fully towards her, only to be plied with a much more thorough kiss to their lips.

“I know,” she says, still beaming, happiness and affection bubbling out into the air surrounding her, “but you are.”


	7. Even Then

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Started this while dealing with some Serious Anxiety and finished it half asleep, so I'm sure the quality is A+

Aili’s meadow in the Dreaming changes to suit her mood; reflecting recent happenings and heartaches from her life in the Waking world. Sometimes cold and dreary with disappointment and tall trees crowding in around a small patch of grass like the walls of a great cage. Other times it is bright and warm and open, with such a rainbow of wildflowers that they could rival the shifting colors of the sky. Especially when Uthvir manages to find their way there.

The meadow is wide today, with only a distant line of trees visible on the horizon and a cool breeze rustling the pale yellow grass. Little lacey crimson flowers tickle at her ears as she lies on her back watching the swirling clouds overhead. There are half a dozen halla milling about placidly, their milk-white coats emanating a soft hazy sheen, as though they were standing just beyond a veil of lingering mist. She has often wondered if the creatures appear so often in her sleep because the spirits of the Dreaming are giving shape to her desires, or if Andruil’s halla have managed to find her here. They are clever enough that she would not put it past them, but she is not entirely certain that they dream the same way that the People do.

Uthvir has been away on yet another hunt with their Lady. Such separations are fairly routine by now, and they have only been gone for a little more than a week, but she does miss them. There are few opportunities to send letters from deep in the wilds, and they hardly ever sleep when Andruil is close at hand, so there is little chance of them finding her here in the Dreaming. The bond between them is a comfort, but it is still new, and she cannot sense them without conscious effort. Still, it is good to be able to close her eyes and feel the distant echo of their heart beating in tandem with her own. 

_Vhenan._

Aili has been working on a present for them to help pass the time while they are gone. It is a project that she has been picking at for quite some time, but the enchantment she wanted to use was trickier than she had anticipated. She wants to attach her voice to an object, so that they can hear her singing to them even when they have to be apart. They seem to find her humming soothing, although they might prefer not to admit such things. She had chosen to use a seashell that she bought the last time she was visiting with her parents in Arlathan. It is fairly small, only about as long as her palm, and if she does her work correctly, they should be able to hear music when they hold it to their ear.

But seashells are brittle and delicate, and she’s not certain when she will have leave to return to the city to buy a new one if she breaks it while trying to fix the enchantment. So, she had taken her time to figure out the spellwork, and now that she has managed to get the enchantment to work on a few odds and ends destined for the scrap heap, she only needs to think of a song she wants to weave into the magic before attaching it to the shell. It is a more difficult choice than she would have thought.

Her first inclination was to pick her favorite song; the one she hums to herself while she works out in the stables. When she’s happy and the world feels bright. But then she had considered the possibility that Uthvir is likely not the only person who would associate that song with her, and if someone else found the shell and heard it… It could lead to some dangerous questions. She doubts that Andruil would know her voice off hand, but she might recognize a familiar tune that has floated out from the halla paddock.

There isn’t really another song she thinks of when she thinks back on the time they spend together. She could pick one of Uthvir’s favorites, but they are all a bit…raunchy. Not quite right for the gift she was intending to give, although it would probably make them laugh.

Aili sings scraps of songs to herself while laying in her meadow, testing them out, and watching the notes rise from her mouth as tiny orbs of light, each one a different size and color. And because it is the dreaming, she leaves them hanging in the air before her, shifting them around with her thoughts and the occasional flick of a finger. If she cannot find a tune for them, she can simply make one herself. She is no great composer, but then again, the song does not have to be some fantastical thing fit to be sung in the great concert halls of Arlathan.

It should be something light and simple. Something Uthvir can whistle to themselves out on a hunt. Warm like cinnamon and cloves lingering on their tongue. Sweet like a lullaby. Soft like a single golden thread plucked by gentle fingers.

It is a lot of feeling to try and cram into a single melody, but Aili is certainly going to give it her all. Uthvir is always picking up little trinkets and things for her when they have to be separated from each other, and while she understands that they are well aware of her station and do not expect her to be capable of reciprocating nearly as often, she does want them to know that she _tries_ to. That they are in her thoughts and her heart, even when they cannot spend very much time together.

She thinks that she might finally have a grasp on it, when the meadow suddenly falls into shadow. The halla rear and bolt away, and Aili jerks upright. Fear rushes through her veins as she scans the horizon.

As anticipated, Uthvir bursts into the Dreaming a few moments afterwards in a multitude of dark spindly limbs and black wings, so large they nearly blot out the sky. Their eyes are red and wild and as they sink towards the ground they gasp at her with several long sharp hands. Pulling her close and shuddering. Too overcome for words.

“Shhh,” Aili soothes, doing her best to return their embrace, even as they fold themselves around her, limbs and wings and all, “I’m here. I’m with you. This place is just for us. You’re safe here with me.”

It is not half as true as she would wish, but it seems to calm them down a little. They come back to themselves enough to consolidate their arms and legs into the usual number, at any rate. The meadow is still as dark as a moonless night as they collapse into the grass, pulling her down beside them. Their grip is tight and desperate on her shoulders, but not quite painful. Aili strokes their hair with careful fingers, whispering words of gentleness as they lay trembling on the ground.

Andruil must have done something to them. Something so horrendous that they lost consciousness and fell into the Dreaming against their will. Aili knows better than to ask, though. Typically they withdraw after such an event. Shutting her out and locking themselves away from light and touch until all their scars -both physical and metaphorical- have scabbed over once again.

She doubts they meant to come here, but she’s hardly going to turn them away.

“I’ve been trying to write you a song, Vhenan,” she whispers, “Would you like to hear it?”

A simple nod, is all the answer she receives, but it is enough. Anything they can give her is always enough. She bends her head towards theirs until they are just touching, and begins to sing.

Even overcast with Fear’s shadows, it is still Aili’s meadow. The long grass around them seems to rustle along to her tune, wildflowers lightly kissing at their cheeks every now and then. The trees have crowded closer, sheltering, and echoing the notes of her song back to them in quiet harmony.

The bond thrums between them in time with their heartbeats. Thin golden tendrils blooming from all the places they are touching. Branching out through the grass and the flowers and the sky. Not destroying the darkness they brought with them, but holding it. Embracing it. Answering it with the warm glow of shared affections.

They stay that way for a long time. Until Uthvir’s breathing evens out, and their hands on her slacken. Until their eyes open again and they are warm and deep and brown.

“I…did not mean for you to see me this way,” they apologize hoarsely, not quite meeting her gaze.

“I know,” she assures them in a low voice, “But I don’t mind. I mean, of course I mind that it _happens_ , but you can always come to me when you’re hurting. If you want to.”

Their expression tightens ever so slightly, and something shivers across their bond. Discomfort and shame. The urge to recoil from comfort, even now.

"Take your time," Aili says gently, "Take space, too, if you want it. Take anything you need. I'll be here waiting after."

"You are too generous with me," Uthvir tells her, one side of their mouth twitching upwards, "It's things like this that make me worry that someone with less than noble intentions is going to take advantage of you someday."

"You're the one who is generous," Aili smiles back at them, "You risked everything for me. For us. You gave me your most precious treasure when we had barely become friends, because you wanted to keep me safe. Compared to that, what is a week or two of waiting?"

"It is everything," they sigh, pressing their forehead more firmly against hers.

"And yet, I would give you more, if I had it," she tells them earnestly.

"Beyond all reason," they smirk.

"On the contrary, there is a very good reason," Aili insists, "The reason is that I love you. I love you like the sun loves the moon, even when it wanes and cannot be seen. I love you like the flower loves the rain. I love you like...like poems, and fresh snow, and cinnamon. Like the warm hearth of home."

She flashes them a grin, "I love you like apples."

They run the pad of their thumb across her cheek and she melts into them with a contented sigh, even as her tone shifts back towards something somber.

"And even if… If you don't want come back to me one day, I would love you still."

She tugs at their bond again, reigniting all the golden threads running through them and out into the Dreaming. 

"We are a part of each other now," she continues quietly, "No matter how many centuries I may walk upon this earth, there is a part of me that will always care for you. If we saw each other every day, I would love you as I do now, and if you find you cannot bear the price of being near me anymore, I would feel just the same."

She smiles at them again, but it is a pained expression this time.

"I would be very sad to lose you, though," she says.

"I can only promise that, were I to leave you, it would not be willingly," they reply, "Although, I doubt that is much of a comfort."

"It is enough," Aili assures them, "Everything you give me is enough. I want more, and I am willing to wait for it. Fight for it, if I have to. But the happiness we have together right now is no small thing. You are enough as you are."

"Even if I cannot… If I am not…" they trail off, unwilling or unable to complete the thought.

Aili leans in and presses a kiss to their lips, sweet and chaste and tender.

"Even then."


	8. Drowsy

Uthvir wakes up to the feeling of lips on their forehead, and fingers in their hair. Gentle touches that draw them out of the hazy realms of sleep, sweetly enough that, for once, the process actually does not feel wholly unpleasant.

They shift, just a little. The lips lift from their forehead, and when they blink their eyes open, they get a good view of Aili’s chest. Covered by a loose sleep shirt, but with the collar unstrung and open enough that they can glimpse the curve of one breast. Memories of the night before slip back to them. Returning from a long hunt with Andruil. Having to spend seven hours organizing the aftermath, making sure the trophies were tended, and gathering any messages they had missed. Finally slipping away after the evening feast, making their way discreetly to the stables, and then…

…Pretty much just falling asleep in Aili’s bed.

Hmm.

Not their finest showing.

“It’s morning,” she tells them, gently. Still brushing her fingers through their hair. “I have to go see to the halla. You can stay here, if you want, but I thought I should check…”

She sounds intensely regretful. Uthvir shakes off the last dregs of sleep, and glances at the window. The light is still scarce. Halla are usually early risers, though, and they can hear the sounds of large beasts moving through the shared wall with the little stable house and the stables themselves. They reach for her, brushing a hand down her side. No one will expect them to be available, the day after a hunt like this. Even Andruil is likely to spend most of the day lounging in bed. They press a kiss to a nearby patch of skin - collarbones - and let out a sleepy breath.

“Come back?” they request.

Aili swallows.

“I can do that,” she agrees.

Uthvir watches through half-lidded eyes, then, as she pulls herself out of bed. She yanks some boots onto her feet and messily ties her hair back, and makes her way outside with little other preparation. They feel a press of worry - far too vulnerable - but they can hear her moving about in the stables. Talking to the halla, checking them over, and letting them out into the grass paddock to start the day’s grazing. The halla which Andruil rode on their hunt merits special care, but even so, Uthvir does not think it takes very long for Aili to come back to them.

She yanks her boots back off. Her hair tie is already gone again - Aili drops a distinctly-chewed-looking tie onto the table next to her bed. Uthvir manages to sit up, as she climbs back into the bed with them. A bed that is distinctly less comfortable than theirs; but somehow, they have been having better luck sleeping in it anyway.

Aili wraps her arms around their shoulders, and hums at them.

“Am I a halla now?” they wonder.

“You seemed to like it last night,” she says. They dimly recall, then, the sound of her voice in their ear, as she helped take their armour off. _Relax, it’s alright, I have you._

What a thing to have.

Aili leans in to press a kiss to their forehead, and they distract themselves by further unlacing her shirt, and pulling it down her shoulders.

“And here I had made such plans for our reunion,” they say. They trace their nails across her skin, and feel her shiver. “It was, for the record, intended to be much more interesting than just flopping into your bed and snoring in your ear all night. I was going to feast on you until you were incoherent. And then pin you to the wall, kiss you until you were starting to regain your senses, and fuck all the coherence right out of you again. I missed your legs around my waist and your breasts in my hand and the taste of the tip of your ear between my teeth. I missed the feel of pressing into you and hear you gasp my name.”

Aili flushes a bit darker. But she also snorts at them.

“Well, we can certainly do all of that anyway,” she says. “If you think I mind you coming and sleeping here, you can think again.”

Damn.

Here they are trying to _avoid_ feeling gently unraveled by every brush of her fingers, every press of her lips.

She moves a hand up and runs her thumb over the edge of one of their ears, and summons up a shiver from _them,_ in return.

“Sleepy Vhenan,” she hums, fondly.

Uthvir lets out a little growl, and flips them around, until they have her on her back.

“Not _so_ sleepy,” they insist, before stealing a kiss from the heat of her lips. She nips them, which draws another growl. But despite their best efforts, they still feel warm and slow and _relaxed_ , and after a few minutes they find themselves sinking into the kiss. Touching her with slow caresses rather than sharp nails, with languid strokes of their tongue rather than pressing bites. They work their hands up into her tunic and fondle the soft, malleable flesh of her breasts. Slipping a leg between her thighs, and pressing up against her until her breaths get quicker, and her own hands start to tug at the edges of their clothes.

They catch her fingers and put her hands on their shoulders, instead. She trails them back up into their hair, but obligingly takes the hint and leaves their clothes be. Uthvir gives into the desire to touch her skin. Letting their hands rove and letting their lips trail down, until they finally find an urge to use their teeth, to press a careful bite above her left breast. Just firm enough to draw a few droplets of blood. They gather them onto their tongue, and savour the sound she makes as they draw a little magic out with it. Just enough to get her skin tingling.

_Now_ things are getting underway, they think. They will take those sweet droplets and press them between her legs, in the way that never fails to make her squirm with pure pleasure. But even as the plan forms, Aili tugs them back up, and Uthvir finds themselves kissing her again instead. Slow and savouring. Lazy as the long days they would _like_ to be able to spend with her. She smells like sweet grass, somehow, and her sighs just make them want to bury their nose behind her ear and feel the warmth of her sink right through them.

If Aili minds, she certainly does not show it. Though after a while, she _does_ start to move a certain way against their thigh. Seeking a little more friction, and biting her lip. Uthvir kisses her so that they can take over that duty. They do not want to let go of her, though, so after a minute, they use magic instead. Sending the feel of their lips moving against her further south, until Aili’s hips are rocking against them, and her hands move back to their shoulders so she can clutch at them. Her breaths are ragged against their mouth.

After a few more fervent kisses, that sear through them as well, it is a long, low swipe of their tongue that lights the arousal in the air with several sparks of pure pleasure.

Uthvir feels pleasantly ignited. Warm and wanting, but still so _languid._ The atmosphere of Aili’s aftermath, and the warm, steady pace of her heart just lull them further. Aroused, but also satisfied; content to just exchange soft, slow touches, until they somehow find themselves drifting off again.

“Apologies,” they murmur.

Aili snorts at them, again.

“You really, _really_ have nothing to apologize for,” she tells them, and kisses their temple. “I’ll pay you back later. Go ahead and sleep, Vhenan. There is not one here except me and the halla next door.”

They wish, in the grand scheme of things, that this was true.

But still.

It is enough to lull them back towards the Dreaming.


End file.
